Numb...

It's a surreal feeling...hearing the words, "I'm sorry to say Mike has passed." Passed what? He didn't pass...HE'S DEAD! My husband is dead. It's all I could think about today...those words. He was here this morning...he woke me up at 5:20 to tell me it was time to get up. How is he not here now? Why?

I waited for a miracle. I've read about them, seen them on TV...coroner goes to perform an autopsy and there's a pulse. My husband could survive anything...he was the strongest man I had ever known. He could beat death, right? Nope...he's still dead. He is laying in a cold, brick building, having his corneas removed, donating skin and bone, waiting for a coroner to cut him open to find out why he isn't here anymore. The most wonderful, giving, loving, beautiful soul I have ever known...has passed. I'm numb.