Fall Into Reading Wrap-Up

I reread Seduction and Snacks by Tara Sivec before diving into the sequels, Futures and Frostings and Troubles and Treats.  I can't express how much I enjoyed the heck out of these books.  Tara's wit is refreshing and I adored all of her little jokes.

I stumbled upon this gem, Taking Chances by Molly McAdams, shortly after logging Futures and Frostings into goodreads.  I was blown away at the story, never knowing where it was going, and can honestly say that as soon as I finished it, I turned around and reread it a second time.  Emotionally draining, but oh so good!

I decided to reread Bared to You by Sylvia Day before diving into her BRILLIANT sequel, Reflected in You.  Now I'm stuck until the end of the year, December 31st, for the final installment, Entwined with You, to be released.  GAH!

Thanks to reading Taking Chances and Beautiful Disaster, I had a recommendation for Crash by Nicole Williams.  I read the synopsis and decided, WTHeck.  Wow!  I'm certainly glad I did.  There is nothing sexier than a good bad boy story.  I really should pay more attention, though, as Crash has a sequel.  I dove straight in to Clash and was equally as captivated.

At this point...can you tell I've already swerved off the beaten path of my original list?  I adore it when this happen, because ultimately, I wind up finding a book that I couldn't live without.  Thus far, Taking Chances has been that book.

Sweet as Sin by Inez Kelley

As promised, I reread the Twilight Saga as well as Midnight Sun, The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, and all of the outtakes from Stephenie Meyer dot com.  Yes, I was as addicted to them the second time around.  I condone the remaking of the movies in the future, where the best parts of the books are not cut, and superior actors are cast as the leads.

My favorite part of Fall Into Reading this year was finding Tiffany Reisz. Words will never express just how amazing her books are, or what a fascinating story teller she is. Tiffany caters to her readers, and has uploaded many extra short stories, involving the characters I've fallen in love with, to her website. As if that wasn't enough, she reaches out to her fans via twitter, so I broke down and signed up. We became fast friends after discussing Type 1 diabetes.

The Siren by Tiffany Reisz

The Angel by Tiffany Reisz

The Prince by Tiffany Reisz

Little Red Riding Crop by Tiffany Reisz

Seven Day Loan by Tiffany Reisz

The Break Up

My love for all things glee stems from my love for all things music. Finn and Blaine singing Duncan Sheik's Barely Breathing was amazing. I saw Duncan when he opened up for Jars of Clay at Pharaoh's Lost Kingdom back in the day. Finn, Rachel, Kurt and Blaine singing No Doubt's Don't Speak was epic, but nothing, absolutely nothing, could prepare me for glee's version of Coldplay's The Scientist. Kudos Ryan Murphy for a jam packed episode of eargasm melodies.

Can I get a little gushy for a moment? Darren Criss got to sing the piano version of Teenage Dream. OMG! OMG! OMG! I had tears in my eyes, and yes Darren can do that to me on a good day, but all I kept thinking about was, "What did Blaine do to Kurt?" Sadly, we find out a few moments later and...You better fix this Ryan Murphy!

I knew this episode was going to break my heart. Messing with Klaine, are you insane? I don't like the Finchel break up either. I know this will be a growing period for them all and the fans will get their happily ever afters. It just hurts. I feel like I need a good cry. Would you please pass me the tissue?

Fall Into Reading 2012

After a long, hot, and very humid summer this year, I am so looking forward to jeans, hoodies, sneakers, and hot cocoa.  Of course, living in the desert, there is a chance I won't be experiencing actual fall weather until November.  Frustrating as hell!  One thing I can jump right in on is Katrina's Fall Into Reading.  My heart smiles knowing that this post is scheduled and waiting.  It's like my ribbon cutting on Autumn.  I can honestly say that Katrina's Spring Reading Thing reawakened my love for reading (after it lay dormant following the untimely death of my Beloved husband), and I spent a good portion of those dreadful humid days curled up with my nook.  I read 14 books and that is unheard of!

Here is my list of what I intend to read this season, but you know me, I'm always changing it up.

As the next installment of the Crossfire Series hits early October, I'll be rereading Bared to You before diving into Reflected in You by Sylvia Day.

Creed is one of my all-time favorite rock bands!  I have crushed on lead singer Scott Stapp since I first laid eyes on him. I can't wait to read his memoir, Sinner's Creed.

It has been 4 years since I first picked up Twilight.  I remember becoming completely addicted and thinking that I just needed them fed intravenously to me at one point.  I have decided to reread The Twilight Saga for the upcoming release of Breaking Dawn II.  I'm more interested in what my take on them will be now, all these years later, and whether or not I still feel as passionately about them.

Twilight by Stephenie Meyers
New Moon by Stephenie Meyers
Eclipse by Stephenie Meyers
Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyers
Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyers

Avoiding Responsibility by K.A. Linde

Futures and Frosting by Tara Sivec

I thought I might be willing to give the books a try after watching The Hunger Games with my oldest.  If I have time, I'll pick up the trilogy.

As always, I'm looking forward to reading all of your lists to get ideas of what's trending right now.

Peyton Goes to Kindergarten

I had no idea how hard today was going to hit me. I woke up this morning crying harder than I've cried in a very long time. Back to School day tends to hit me pretty hard. Is it because Mike was a teacher and we've started a new school year without him again? Or is it that today our baby girl started school without her Daddy? Another milestone without him.

This year I have a kid at all 3 campuses. I'll be playing around with drop off and pick up times for the next few weeks. We set out and dropped Cameron off first at Mojave River Campus (MRC). Off to Corwin Campus (CC) we go, and I walked Dylan in, taking a pic of him before Peyton and I made our way over to Thunderbird Campus (TBC). I grabbed a few shots of Peyton before we headed into the class.

How blessed am I to have Ms. Cambridge in my life? She was Dylan's Kindergarten teacher, and fellow widow. Try as I might, the tears never stopped, and my eyes flooded more as she read The Kissing Hand to the class. I left my daughter at school and came straight home.

Home, hasn't really felt like a home since Mike died. It's more like a house, shelter, if you will. A home is a place where you feel happy, love, and I'm not saying there aren't times I still feel that, but mostly, I look at it as my sanctuary. A place to run and hide and block out the pain. Today, it feels different. I don't have a husband who will come home and care whether I cleaned the bathrooms, vacuumed the carpet, or prepped an amazing dinner. The kids don't care if I'm making a feast or chicken nuggets with macaroni and cheese. Today, for the first time since Mike died, I feel completely, and utterly alone.

I know what some of you would say, "Pick yourself up." I don't want to. Today, I want to feel the pain. I want to embrace it. I want to eat my emotions (I'm well on my way) and look around my house, remembering when it was a home.

Spring Reading Thing 2012 Wrap-Up

Whew! I did it! I actually devoted time to reading this Spring. I posted 4 books that I hoped to read during the challenge, yet I only read one of them. Surprisingly enough, that one book completely broke down my wall. As I previously said, Two Kisses for Maddy had been on my shelf since my husband died. I just couldn't bring myself to open it. I didn't want to read about pain that would ultimately bring my pain to the surface. Instead, it was very healing to read Matt's story, because it was a love story to his beautiful wife, taken from him all too soon.

I went looking for a quick read one day when I noticed that Claudia Gray had released another Evernight book, Balthazar. I wasn't aware of this and instantly purchased it on my nook and dove right in. After that, my original goals fell away, and I just read whatever jumped out at me.

My friends and facebook were all abuzz about The Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. I was in the salon getting my nails done, when fellow book lover, the owner's sister, asked me if I had read them. I said I hadn't but heard about them. I hadn't given it another thought until another post on facebook mentioned Christian Grey. I downloaded book 1 and began reading it on May 26th. Good grief, it was hard to put down that night, not going to bed until 1 a.m. I finished book 1 and went straight to download book 2, and read well into the night again the second night. Needless to say, I finished book 3 on Memorial Day, May 28. All 3 books, and it was BLISSFUL! I was unsure what to expect with the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, but I fell in love instantly. The erotic tale of Christian and Ana was delightfully sinful. Granted, much like Stephenie Meyer with Twilight, E.L. James used the same descriptive words, and it drove me crazy! Once I got around her less than extensive vocabulary, I adored the story unfolding before my eyes, just as much as I did when I read the Twilight Saga. I was shocked, to say the least, when I found that the stories were originally written for a Twilight fiction site, but made perfect sense to me. I enjoyed these ones so much, that upon going back and telling my book lover friend to read them, I reread them the following week, while she dived in and had a great time teasing each other on facebook about becoming Greysessed and posting pics of who we thought would make the perfect Christian Grey in the movie.

I thought I had done a decent job, I read over my quota for Spring, plugged in my links on this post, and called it done. Ha! A week later I received an email from Barnes & Noble, if you liked the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, check out Bared to You. I downloaded and finished it the next day.

I kept seeing another book recommendation hitting my inbox, B&N, amazon, when I logged in, Beautiful Disaster. I headed over to goodreads to check it out, and was surprised by the reviews. I downloaded, and as you guessed it, read it in a day. Another book I couldn't bring myself to put down. On the same list I found Beautiful Disaster, I found Thoughtless and Effortless, and picked them up too. I love finding cheap reads for my nook.

I think what took me by surprise was the Thoughtless series (and I can't wait to see what adventure book 3 holds in store for Kellan and Kiera). I completely misjudged the book by it's cover, and found myself laughing, angry, gasping, covering my mouth, as well as bawling my eyes out. You know it's a good book when all your emotions are brought to the surface. Guess what? Effortless was all that and more. The sequel was far more enticing than the original. I have never read a sequel to a book that I adored more than the first one, and yet, Effortless was just that. I became completely engrossed and adored S.C. Stephens writing. A complete and utter surprise, and hands down my favorite read during this challenge.

Thank you Katrina for hosting another great Spring Reading Thing! I'm looking forward to catching up on some much needed sleep, now that I'm not completely captivated by these books. I'll see you in the Fall. :)

Two Kisses for Maddy by Matt Logelin

Balthazar: An Evernight Novel by Claudia Gray

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James

Fifty Shades Darker by E.L. James

Fifty Shades Freed by E.L. James

Bared to You by Sylvia Day

A Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire

Thoughtless by S.C. Stephens

Effortless by S.C. Stephens

Basket of Blessings

I know I have mentioned over the last 15 months just how abundantly blessed I am, but I truly am! This afternoon a basket of blessings was delivered (anonymously) to my house. Words will never express the gratitude I feel for the outpouring of love shown to my children and myself this last year.

Amending a Record

When Peyton's social security card came in the mail, several weeks after she was born, her name was misspelled. I was devastated. What made this worse was when I called, they said it must have been a clerk error, and she would forever have a 2 page birth certificate to correct the spelling. I ordered the paperwork to amend her birth certificate in Fall 2010, knowing I needed her name fixed before she started preschool. I never filled them out because Grandma died, and then Mike, Peyton never attended preschool...and well, I forgot. Until it dawned on me, she's starting Kindergarten in August!

Vital Records tell me it takes up to 4 months for the record to be amended. We're right at the cutoff of Kindergarten starting. I filled out the paperwork, called the hospital for document verification that they were wrong, when I was told she would have to pull that file and make sure I didn't make the error. Okay. Well, if everything I have from the hospital shows her spelling as PEYTON, not PAYTON, and as I am not the clerk entering in her information, I am fairly certain the hospital made the mistake. Insult to injury, it will cost me $20 to fix this, and my daughter will have a 2 page birth certificate for the rest of her life. But go ahead, pull your file.

When she called back, she sure changed her tune and said, "I see here that you filled out all paperwork as PEYTON, is this correct?" Yep. She then informed me that because it is a hospital error, they fill out the paperwork and pay for the amended record. All I need to do is get a sworn statement notarized stating that I am her mother and run it by the hospital. Woot! Woot!

New Easter Tradition

Honestly, I was just grateful to get through Easter last year. The first major holiday after Mike's death. We did nothing unusual, and I even made the same Easter dinner I had for the last 11 years.

This year, however, I wanted to do something different, something we haven't done. I read the Bible, but I have never read it my kids. I found a list of verses, broken up by subject (i.e. The Last Supper, Jesus Arrested, Jesus Has Risen, etc) and decided to read three subject areas a night before bed, equaling about thirty minutes of reading time. If this worked, I could see this becoming a new Easter (and Christmas) Tradition.

The first night, the kids grumbled. The second night, they grumbled, but didn't fidget. The third night, they sat down excitedly to hear how the story would unfold. The fourth night, they interrupted with questions and genuine concern. Tonight, Cameron, who rolled his eyes at me the first night, said, "After Easter can we continue this every night?" YES! Yes. We. Can.

My intention was to teach my children the true reason we celebrate Easter, but as each night passed, my intention changed and I wanted to read stories from the Bible every night, as a family, before we say our prayers for bed.

I am blessed!

Spring Break

Isn't this what Spring Break is all about anyway?

Spring Reading Thing 2012

Can it be? Are you sure? Spring has Sprung? I'll be melting away in the desert heat before I know it. For now, I focus on joining Katrina, over at Callapidder Days, for her Spring Reading Thing 2012.

Here are the list of books I would like to read this Spring:

The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks
Two Kisses for Maddy by Matt Logelin
Prayer by Phillip Yancey
The Wolf Gift by Anne Rice

I have had Two Kisses for Maddy on my shelf since it came out, April 2011. I have followed Matt's story, pretty much, since the beginning, and have followed his blog since then. I preordered his book on amazon when he announced we could. Peyton is only a few months older than Maddy, and little did I know, the day I preordered Two Kisses for Maddy, that I would end up a widow a couple months later. I am tired of looking at this beautiful cover of father and daughter and not having the courage to open it and read it.

I am committed to reading this list of books. I'm sure I'll switch it up, and/or add something to the mix, as I go poking through all of your lists. If I get these read, I'll be pleased.

I haven't read much since Fall Into Reading 2011. Well, I should clarify, I have thrown myself into women's bible studies since the death of my Beloved husband. I'm in the word, but zero recreational reading. I feel left behind in the times right now. Some of my own doing, I'm sure. I just don't feel the need to "join in" on much, while my world around me is still in ruins.

HDC - Apple Valley Campus

I am truly blessed. I have an AMAZING church home. I have been attending High Desert Church (HDC) since November 1995. I was saved there, and baptized there in March 1996. Mande's memorial was held there. My (Grand)Mother's memorial was also held there, and just 2 months later, we honored my Beloved husband there.

Two years ago, HDC launched their first satellite campus in Apple Valley. And just last year, they launched their second in Phelan.

With the gas prices up, ours was $4.31 on Friday, I knew I was going to need to adjust my traveling plans accordingly. I am at HDC 4 times a week. I attend Tuesday for TLBS and Thursday for SMILES. I then go back Thursday afternoon for Dylan's Sonshine Choir practice, and finally Sunday morning for church service. My 4 trips to Victorville, plus the bussing of Cameron and Dylan to and from school every day, leaves my already drained finances at a dangerous level every time I have to put gas in the Mama Mobile. My budget for gas has increased by $27 a week. Something has to give.

As much as I adore walking in to church every Sunday morning, I knew I was going to have to give it up, at least partly, until the end of the choir year. On weekends where Dylan doesn't lead choir, we will be attending in Apple Valley.

Today was our first time at HDC's Apple Valley Campus. Did I mention it's 3 minutes from my house? Apprehensive, as I despise change, we walked in, having no clue where to go. Fortunately, one of Peyton's favorite teachers, happened to be there (she was on stage this morning), threw her arms open for Peyton and showed us the ropes. We checked in, took Peyton to her class, took Dylan to his class, and the cherry on top of our morning is Evan, junior high pastor, who has been a mentor to Cameron since Mike died, is in charge of the junior high group at AV. Cameron was beaming!

My TLBS leader's daughter was working in Peyton's class, and a dear friend's son, who Evan also mentored after the death of his father, helps Evan and the junior high group. As we were leaving, Cameron's 5th grade teacher was standing in front of church, and upon seeing Cameron, began to dote over how big he's gotten, asking how Cameron was doing, and about his health in regards to his diabetes. I love how God always knows what we need. We left church, smiling from ear to ear, and the kids can't wait to go back.

Prayer Time

I enjoy our family prayer time at night. The kid's prayers have grown leaps and bounds in the last 14 months. Tonight Peyton volunteered to lead prayer. She started out wonderfully, even thanking God for her warm bed (I've been teaching them to thank God during prayer). As she was coming to the end, she said, "Bless our new Daddy. I hope he gets here soon." Sucker Punched. God Bless her heart of gold.

Knights in Training

Peyton is growing up. What makes this worse is the fact that she is doing it without her Daddy. Peyton starts Kindergarten in August. To help transistion the incoming kids, AAE has set up Knights in Training. The students come to their Kindergarten classroom for a little over an hour, every other month, and work in stations, getting familiar with the teachers and environment. This also allows the teachers to assess the child's academic ability. I am pleased that Peyton will have the same Kindergarten teacher, Ms. Cambridge, as Dylan. Ms. Cambridge is special to us, because like us, she lost her husband, suddenly, with her 2 daughters the same ages as Dylan and Peyton at the time.

I snapped a few pics of Peyton's writing her name assessment. She struggles with the letter e, but I think she's finally getting it.

Yes/No

Any glee episode that starts with a Grease song is going to be a good one in my book. Sam and Mercedes sang Summer Nights. I have to give props to Mercedes for being true to her man, despite having feelings for Sam.

My favorite glee moments have always been Mash-Ups and Moves Like Jagger/Jumpin' Jack Flash did not disappoint. It is always a joy to watch Harry Shum, Jr and Matthew Morrison dance. The only drawback is Kevin McHale stuck in that damn wheelchair, but somehow, he makes it look effortless.

Helen Mirren played the mental voice of Becky Jackson and I couldn't stop grinning. Honestly, how does Ryan Murphy do it? Becky is such a special part of the glee ensemble and I adore her mini-Sue Sylvester character.

Emma singing Wedding Bell Blues with Coaches Beiste (who is now a married woman!) and Sylvester as backups and bridesmaids (complete with hideous replicas of Princess's Beatrice and Eugenie's hats) to Will was A-DOR-A-BLE! Emma's parents continue to be horrible people. Ugh!

Will's proposal to Emma was definitely a highlight. I loved the retro bathing suits, the synchronized swimming and Rihanna's We Found Love was swoon worthy. I've already said I want a glee wedding, but how about a glee proposal too? A woman can only dream can't she?

Personally I think Finn was the star of this episode. He tells Mr. Shue that he wants to do something special with his life, "Like my dad without the whole dying part." Mr. Shue brings in Carol and Burt to discuss Finn enlisting into the Army. Mike O'Malley's portrayal of Burt is one of my all-time favorite TV Dads. I know I've raved about him before, but when the Hummel/Hudson family came together, they really did become a family. Burt tells Finn he hopes his son will take over his [mechanic] shop. Carol breaks down and admits to Finn that something happened to his dad in Iraq and he came back a broken man. He developed a drug problem and died of an overdose in a hotel room. I'm really pissed at Carol for lying to Finn for 17 years about how his dad died, claiming he was a war hero. Finn is understandably devastated. Rachel wants Finn to know that he already is special and sings a ballad version of David Guetta's (featuring Usher) song Without You. It was truly breathtaking. It is probably my favorite Rachel song to date. I was speechless when Finn dropped to his knee and proposed to Rachel.

Yahrzeit

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of Mike's sudden death. If you had asked me this time last year where I would be today, I would have responded, with him. I never saw light at the end of the tunnel. I always looked at my glass as half empty. Yet, here I am, walking, talking, and breathing. Taking each day hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute and second by second. I wake up each morning and put one foot infront of the other, moving forward.

I have often said that my TLBS girls have kept me alive this last year. There is more truth in that statement than anyone realizes. With all the friends that have left after my Beloved's death, they sure have filled that void. My cup runneth over.

They threw a Loving Out Loud gathering for me today. We all met at Leanne's house, where she made delicious eggs benedict. We talked, laughed, and cried together. Most of the crying came after we watched the beautiful memorial slideshow that Marlena made. I haven't watched it but a handful of times, but the last 2 pictures ALWAYS get me. I asked Marlena to end it that way, but the finality of seeing them come up (our 10 year anniversary and The Johnson 5 on Christmas Eve before church) tear me up.

My Jesus Sista's, as I affectionately call them, gave me a memorial candle, known as Yahrzeit. I lit it at 4:57 tonight, sundown, and it will remain lit until sundown tomorrow. I read Psalm 121, which is near and dear to my heart, right after I lit the candle, and talked to my husband for a few minutes.

Words will never express the immense loss I feel for my Beloved, my best friend, but knowing I have God, champion of widows, my children, and my Jesus Sista's makes life worth living for.