Family Command Center

I decided that this summer I would pick a few Pinterest ideas and run with them. My main objective was to have a Command Center up and running before school starts August 5th. Today it came to fruition.

The original idea came from A Bowl Full of Lemons. I had pinned it under Organizing and went on the hunt for thirty-one gifts. I was not prepared to pay the $$$ for the Hang-Up Home Organizer. Ever the ebay gal, I went on the search. I found a brand new, in much cuter design I might add, for $0.99 plus $9.99 shipping. DONE. Once in hand, I went to work.

Each family member is color coded and has a pocket for important papers. I chose the color orange, always thinking of my Beloved, for family functions. I located cute, functional and free, printable calendars at Pretty Unpretentious Blog. I decided to keep the calendar out of one of the 2 pockets for easier access to jot down any last minute appointments or changes. I used one of the pockets for the lunch menu, so the kiddos aren't asking me every morning what's for lunch. I decided to use the last pocket for something spiritual. Another search for printable scriptures and voila, I have about a dozen amazing scripture based pictures printed on card stock to switch out at will.

On a side note: I would really love to find someone to paint my hall tree, it definitely needs some TLC.

WHY?

I am REALLY trying not to question God...REALLY...but I want to know WHY? Why MY husband? Why HIS children? I just want to January 9th back!

Faith, Family, Friends

For those who have been reading with me for awhile now, you know that I take the title of my blog VERY seriously. I live by faith and desire my children to do the same.

The family...well, that's harder. Obviously I have a family, and unfortunately we cannot pick our family. Mike and I often said that we made our friends our family. We meant it. One such instance is Chris & Amy. Amy showed up at my doorstep a couple nights ago because I hadn't returned her phone call. I hadn't done that on purpose, I just hadn't gotten to her message yet. (Between the house phone, my cell phone, and Mike's cell phone I have 100 voicemails. This does not include the emails, facebooks, or texts.) Amy, trailed by her 3 beautiful boys, hugged me and we cried. She insisted on making us dinner, and we set it up for Friday night (perfect as my cousin's Brian & Alicia with their 2 boys are coming in).

Fast forward to this afternoon and Alicia tells me they won't be here until 9 tonight. Amy has cooked for an army, no doubt, so I call and ask her and the family to stay. I needed that! Their friendship means the world to me. And I may have to dedicate a post just to them soon.

They were leaving when Brian and Alicia got here. The overlapping was nice, because being by myself at night is REALLY hard. Brian, Alicia & I stayed up...well, into the wee hours of the night (as you can tell by the time stamp). I am blessed by their presence here this weekend.

In the morning, I will keep Peyton's first haircut appointment. The day is just taking a different turn. We were suppose to get Peyton's hair cut, and then her 3rd birthday pictures (as we had to postpone those with the death of my Grandma). Instead, it will just be her haircut...too many firsts this first week (Dylan's first tooth & Peyton's first haircut). :(

Teenage Dream

I am hotter than hot right now. When I feel my love for Jesus, or my faith, is being bashed, I tend to lose my religion a little. I think I handled myself correctly, and waited until I called Hubby at work to really let myself go. Here's what happened...

It is no secret my love for all things glee and I might have mentioned that I'm addicted to ::cough:: Darren Criss' ::cough:: Blaine's The Warbler's version of Teenage Dream, from the infamous Never Been Kissed episode, that I wrote a post about here. I posted the glee official video of said performance to my Facebook wall, when a friend from high school posted an anti-gay comment, using the word "troubling" to drive his point home. O.O Needless to say, we are both Christians.

I responded with, "I see it at face value, entertainment. The boy singing has a beautiful voice and I would listen to him sing the phone book. It's an all boy school, are you saying they are all gay? I'm fortunate. I serve a Lord who preaches love." Let's just say it escalated from there. Why am I so fired up?

I have gay friends. I have friends with gay children. I don't need them seeing such "troubling" statements...let's just call crap, crap and it's flung on MY Facebook page. I don't condone it and I am the mistress of my domain. Having said that, I realize I am also a rare breed of Christian. I take to heart love others as yourself.

Did I mention this is the watered down version? Had I written about this earlier, this post would have had an R rating.

Grilled Cheesus

I am all twisted up over tonight's episode of glee. Chris Colfer IS glee. There, I've said it. I'm glad we got that out of the way. I am in awe over this episode. Kurt's dad, Burt, has a heart attack. I can't imagine what it would feel like for a kid who has already lost one parent to have to endure the crisis of possibly losing the only parent they have left. Couple that with Kurt's atheism and I was devastated for this character.

"I don't believe in God. You've all professed your beliefs, I'm  just stating mine. I think God is kind of like Santa Claus for adults. Otherwise, God is kind of a jerk, isn't he? I mean, he makes me gay and then he has his followers going around telling me it's something that I chose. As if someone would choose to be mocked every single day of their life. And right now I don't want a heavenly father, I want my real one back." ~ Kurt Hummel

Jesus was mocked every day of his 33 years on earth. The Roman's placed King of Jews on the cross above his head taunting his claim. I came to Christ in 1995. I was in the middle of the absolute worst decision I have ever made. Growing up in a family who never went to church, a family where sin was as second nature as breathing, my budding relationship with Jesus was refreshing. I admit I've stumbled along the way. In fact, I've hit damn speed bumps, but His mercy is made new every single morning I wake up. It wasn't until the death of my niece, Mandelyn, that I realized just how strong my faith was. I can't imagine how a person who doesn't believe in God deals with a tragedy. Where do they put their hope?

My ex is an atheist and I asked him one time, "Do you believe your Dad just seized to exist when he died?" He simply responded, "Yes." I refuse to believe that when Mandelyn died she just disappeared. My beautiful niece, all of 2 years old, didn't just seize to exist. I can't, I won't accept that. I want her to greet me when I make it to heaven.

I have been told many of times that my views on homosexuality doesn't fall in line with God, Jesus or the Word. You're right. I believe in equality for everyone. I believe Jesus told me to love everyone as I love myself. I believe that I am not the ultimate judge, He is, and therefore I will not persecute someone based on their sexuality.

"If Jack is gay, he doesn't need your judgement, young man. The Lord above will be the one to judge him as he will judge all of us. What he needs from you and me and everyone else in this world is love and tolerance. If anything, that boy must feel scared and alone and it will take the understanding of his fellow man to help him through. Let's save judgment for someone much more experienced than you." ~ Evelyn 'Grams" Ryan from Dawson's Creek

This quote has stayed with me all these years and I truly live my life by it. Kurt's feelings are genuine and he even balked at his friend's attempts to comfort him by praying over him and his father. What really broke my heart, and lit a fire in it at the same time, was Kurt singing The Beatles classic I Want to Hold Your Hand, in honor of his Dad, complete with the flashbacks of Burt raising him on his own. This song is near and dear to me because it's the song I sing to Peyton. I could almost picture her in Kurt's place, singing the song to me, and it was a little too close to home, if you know what I mean.

I think a most beautiful moment was when Sue admitted that her big sister was her hero, perfect in her eyes, and how hard she prayed for Jean to be healed of Down Syndrome because the world was so cruel to her. Coach Sylvester said no one (God) was listening. In reality we know that God hears every prayer, but that sometimes the answer is no. I'm the first to admit that hearing no is hard to accept. I pray every night for Cameron to be healed of his Type 1 Diabetes, and I will pray that prayer until my dying day. Jean says, "God never makes mistakes." and you know what, she is absolutely right.

I applaud Brad Falchuk for a brilliantly written episode and giving me another reason to defend my love of this show.

Faith

On June 2, 2006 my faith was tested. I, more than anyone else, was shocked to realize just how much faith I had. My beautiful niece, a month before her 3rd birthday, was killed in a car accident. Technically, she isn't my niece, my cousin Sara and I are like sisters, my kids call her Auntie, and Mandelyn is, in all the ways that it mattered, my niece. Actually, I use to call her Cameron's practice sibling. I digress. Without explanation, I knew it was Mandelyn's time to go home. I was...okay, for lack of a better word, that she came, she saw, she conquered and I have often said I picture her getting a hi-five from Jesus when she returned. Maybe okay is the wrong word, peace, I was at peace with the situation.

I was, am not, at peace with what occurred 18 months later. For nothing more than the freakin' thrill of it, my amazingly gifted cousin, Cody, and his girlfriend, Bodhi, were murdered. The peace I felt with Mandelyn was nowhere to be found when Cody was murdered. I have days...wow, I have days I can't even describe. For if I describe my feelings, one would think I was on a fast track to hell. Or, as Angelique says, "Going to hell on a greased pole."

As if losing these 2 precious people weren't enough, a month later my uncle died unexpectedly. I remember the phone call, I remember my hysterical crying in my husband's arms, and I remember my emotions shutting down for a good 6 months after.

Over and over in my head the thought, God will not give you more than you can handle. Yet, a few months after my tears returned, my first born looses 11 pounds (15 total in just 12 days) in just a matter of days, his color drains, his breathing is labored and I thought, when the doctor asked if I was home alone, that he had cancer. Not that Type I Diabetes wasn't bad, but diabetes wasn't a death sentence. Let's not forget my diagnosis of Lupus (which I still am not completely on board with) and prediabetic just 2 weeks after Cameron's. God will not give me more than I can handle? Seriously? My faith was strong. My faith was a foundation I didn't realize was rock solid just 33 short months ago. Today...ah, today I look at the last 3 years and say, WTF?

I have failed the test. Miserably! I feel like Jesus on the cross, "Why have you forsaken me?" Harsh, yes, but true. My desire for church is gone. I open the bible to read, and I always find something else to fill my time. I'm on my knees, pleading with Him right now to find me again, to fill me with His love and to let me know all is right.