Grilled Cheesus

I am all twisted up over tonight's episode of glee. Chris Colfer IS glee. There, I've said it. I'm glad we got that out of the way. I am in awe over this episode. Kurt's dad, Burt, has a heart attack. I can't imagine what it would feel like for a kid who has already lost one parent to have to endure the crisis of possibly losing the only parent they have left. Couple that with Kurt's atheism and I was devastated for this character.

"I don't believe in God. You've all professed your beliefs, I'm  just stating mine. I think God is kind of like Santa Claus for adults. Otherwise, God is kind of a jerk, isn't he? I mean, he makes me gay and then he has his followers going around telling me it's something that I chose. As if someone would choose to be mocked every single day of their life. And right now I don't want a heavenly father, I want my real one back." ~ Kurt Hummel

Jesus was mocked every day of his 33 years on earth. The Roman's placed King of Jews on the cross above his head taunting his claim. I came to Christ in 1995. I was in the middle of the absolute worst decision I have ever made. Growing up in a family who never went to church, a family where sin was as second nature as breathing, my budding relationship with Jesus was refreshing. I admit I've stumbled along the way. In fact, I've hit damn speed bumps, but His mercy is made new every single morning I wake up. It wasn't until the death of my niece, Mandelyn, that I realized just how strong my faith was. I can't imagine how a person who doesn't believe in God deals with a tragedy. Where do they put their hope?

My ex is an atheist and I asked him one time, "Do you believe your Dad just seized to exist when he died?" He simply responded, "Yes." I refuse to believe that when Mandelyn died she just disappeared. My beautiful niece, all of 2 years old, didn't just seize to exist. I can't, I won't accept that. I want her to greet me when I make it to heaven.

I have been told many of times that my views on homosexuality doesn't fall in line with God, Jesus or the Word. You're right. I believe in equality for everyone. I believe Jesus told me to love everyone as I love myself. I believe that I am not the ultimate judge, He is, and therefore I will not persecute someone based on their sexuality.

"If Jack is gay, he doesn't need your judgement, young man. The Lord above will be the one to judge him as he will judge all of us. What he needs from you and me and everyone else in this world is love and tolerance. If anything, that boy must feel scared and alone and it will take the understanding of his fellow man to help him through. Let's save judgment for someone much more experienced than you." ~ Evelyn 'Grams" Ryan from Dawson's Creek

This quote has stayed with me all these years and I truly live my life by it. Kurt's feelings are genuine and he even balked at his friend's attempts to comfort him by praying over him and his father. What really broke my heart, and lit a fire in it at the same time, was Kurt singing The Beatles classic I Want to Hold Your Hand, in honor of his Dad, complete with the flashbacks of Burt raising him on his own. This song is near and dear to me because it's the song I sing to Peyton. I could almost picture her in Kurt's place, singing the song to me, and it was a little too close to home, if you know what I mean.

I think a most beautiful moment was when Sue admitted that her big sister was her hero, perfect in her eyes, and how hard she prayed for Jean to be healed of Down Syndrome because the world was so cruel to her. Coach Sylvester said no one (God) was listening. In reality we know that God hears every prayer, but that sometimes the answer is no. I'm the first to admit that hearing no is hard to accept. I pray every night for Cameron to be healed of his Type 1 Diabetes, and I will pray that prayer until my dying day. Jean says, "God never makes mistakes." and you know what, she is absolutely right.

I applaud Brad Falchuk for a brilliantly written episode and giving me another reason to defend my love of this show.