Summer Reading

I tend to do the majority of my reading during Spring and Fall thanks to the reading challenges, but I wanted to make sure I got some reading in this Summer. To hold myself accountable I kept a list.

I FI-NAL-LY read From Ashes by Molly McAdams

On Dublin Street by Samantha Young

I. Am. Gutted. What a fan-fucking-tastic read these were. I lived Hopeless, but I loved Losing Hope by Colleen Hoover

Gabriel's Inferno and Gabriel's Rapture by Sylvain Reynard

The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

City of Bones

City of Ashes

City of Glass

City of Fallen Angels

I couldn't stop after reading The Mortal Instruments, and because my a couple of my friends said The Infernal Devices were better, I hoped straight into them.

The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare

Clockwork Angel

Clockwork Prince

Clockwork Princess

Dare I say it? I loved The Infernal Devices more than The Mortal Instruments. I want more. I could see myself picking these books up every year to reread them.

Happy 14th Birthday Cameron

I can't believe Cameron is a freshman. Every time someone mentions, "Oh, isn't Cameron a freshman now?" I feel a little sucker punch to the stomach. Can I be in denial a little bit longer please? I can't believe Mike isn't here to empathize with me about having a high schooler. My baby boy, my first born, the one who made me a Mama, is 14 today. I suppose there is no more denial to be had. A few days before school started I had a mini-meltdown. Obviously Peyton has changed the most, she was only 3 when her Daddy died, but I feel like it's Cameron that is a completely different child than he was just 2.8 years ago. He's 5'7, taller than his Dad and I. His voice has changed. He has hair. He is a young man. A young man who is relying on his mother on how to be a man. I am not sure that I'm qualified for the job.

On September 7, 1999 I went in to my OB for my regular weekly check-up. My blood pressure was high. I explained that within the last week my dad's house was in danger due to the Willow Fire and my step-dad had been in a head-on collision on his way to work. The nurse asked me to lie on my left side and relax. Finally the doctor said that I was to go straight to the hospital, he was inducing me. Well, as you know I'm stubborn as hell and when we left the doctor office I told Mike to take me home. I needed to pack my hospital bag (I hadn't done that yet because I wasn't due until the 21st) and I wanted to talk to Grandma. Everyone was sitting at the dinner table when we came in and I told them what was going on. Grandma looked at Mike and said, "And you didn't take her straight to the hospital?" Mike replied, "Can you tell her to do anything she doesn't want to?"

When we got to the hospital everything was ready. I was taken to a room, and IV started, after the first one blew (I had a beautiful bruise on my forearm because of it) and some kind of pill was put next to my cervix to begin the process. It was 6:35 pm. I don't remember when the pitocin was started by IV, but I do remember the doctor breaking my water at 2:30 pm the following afternoon, September 8th. When the doctor came at me with what looked like a ginormous crochet hook, Mike's eyes went big as saucers. The doctor had hoped to move along the process, as I was stuck dilated at a 2 the entire time. That night was exhausting. I labored and labored and labored, and between all that the nurse would give me stadol for the pain. At 6:30 am on the 9th the nurse came in and said the doctor would give me another hour and then we'd discuss c-section. Still only dilated to a 2, I nodded and she left. Mike looked at me like, "What the hell?" and said, "What is an hour going to do that the last 36 hasn't?" I told him to go get the nurse and bring her back. When she came in, I told her, "Where do I sign? Get this baby out of me." She brought the papers in, turned off the IV and...my labor stopped. Completely stopped. It was all chemical labor, Cameron had no desire to come out on his own.

Because 2 people loved each other...

I slept during the c-section. I was whooped. I heard Cameron cry and remember opening my eyes, but I couldn't find him. Finally the nurse brought him over to me and all I could see was his dad's nose. I said, "You've got your Dad's nose." The nurse took him to do what she needed to and I told Mike, "Go with the baby." He waffled for a minute, unsure on what he should do. I went back to sleep and was awake again when they moved me from the operating table to a bed, wheeling me into recovery. I tried, Dear God did I try, to sleep in recovery, but that damn nurse kept poking me and telling me I had to wake up. Did she not know that I had been in labor for 37 1/2 hours before my son was born at 8:04 am?

When I was taken to my room I expected to see my son. Wrong. Mike came in to tell me my Grandma and egg donor had seen Cameron while they were in the nursery. The doctor came out and told the 3 of them that I am very narrow and will most likely never deliver children the old fashioned way. Grandma, not missing a beat, said, "You mean there's something small on Tiffany?" Mike was livid. I waited for 4 1/2 hours before my son was brought to me around 1 pm. Shortly after my Dad and brother, Scott, showed up and my Dad was the first family member, beside Mike and myself, to hold Cameron, his first grandson.

I breastfed Cameron only twice before I developed an excruciating migraine. I've suffered with migraines since I was 9, but never had I ever felt something like this. The nurses were wrapping my head in ice packs, shooting me up with demerol, and Cameron never took from me again. I suffered with, what I now know was, a spinal migraine for 10 days after the birth of Cameron. The demerol kept me pretty out of it and once, while I was holding my newborn, I dozed off for just a second, but Cameron rolled right out of my arms into my lap. After that Mike refused to leave Cameron with me while I was alone. Grandma and he took shifts. If Mike had to work, Grandma was there. The evening of the 10th Mike had taken off to Costco so Grandma was there. I was out of it when the nursery nurse came in and said, "Gah! She's sleeping again? When do you think she'll want her baby?" Grandma, who hardly ever was confrontational, said, "What exactly do you get paid for?" The nurse left in a huff. When I awoke, Grandma told me the story and I called to have Cameron brought to me.

Daddy and Cameron

When I met my husband he did not want children. I would like to say becoming a mother was the most beautiful experience of my life, but quite honestly, it wasn't. Because of the spinal migraine, I got to sit on the sidelines and watch my husband become a Daddy. Not just any Daddy. Oh no! My husband was the most amazing father I could have ever asked for for my children. From the beginning he was hands on. My husband was a far superior Daddy to my lack of Mama skills. I'm certain my friends, a few family, and my Beloved would dispute this, but I call it as I see it.

Mama and Cameron

On the 11th of September, just 2 days after having my firstborn via c-section, I demanded to be released from the hospital. The care was inadequate. I knew I would be cared for at home, and as long as I did as was instructed, I would be fine. We were home a little after 6 pm, 4 days after it all began. Just 10 days later, as Cameron lay on the couch, I laid my face next to his watching him sleep, in awe, I whispered, "I can't wait to do this again." I knew then, like I know now, that I was put on this earth to be a mother. My greatest blessings call me Mama.

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Side note:
Cameron, very much into Winnie the Pooh (also his nursery), adored Roo. Roo calls Kanga "Mama" and that is why Cameron began calling me Mama. Dylan followed suit, and Peyton after.

Menu Plan Monday

Somebody asked me a question about why lunch for dinner? Here's the thing, I take advantage when the kid's eat hot lunch on the same day. For me, this frees up time that I can spend with the kid's rather than getting them home, shower, homework, dinner, etc. Secondly, it frees up my dinner budget. On the nights that the kid's eat lunch for dinner, I shred up some chicken and eat a chicken salad.

Sunday ~ Tacos

Monday ~ BBQ Hot Dogs, Chicken, & Spaghetti Salad

Tuesday ~ Lunch for dinner

Wednesday ~ BBQ Chicken, Baked Potato, & Corn on the Cob with Parmesan Cheese

Thursday ~ Subway after Choir Practice

Friday ~ Lunch for dinner

Saturday ~ Soup & Sammie's for Johnson Family Game Night