Yes/No

Any glee episode that starts with a Grease song is going to be a good one in my book. Sam and Mercedes sang Summer Nights. I have to give props to Mercedes for being true to her man, despite having feelings for Sam.

My favorite glee moments have always been Mash-Ups and Moves Like Jagger/Jumpin' Jack Flash did not disappoint. It is always a joy to watch Harry Shum, Jr and Matthew Morrison dance. The only drawback is Kevin McHale stuck in that damn wheelchair, but somehow, he makes it look effortless.

Helen Mirren played the mental voice of Becky Jackson and I couldn't stop grinning. Honestly, how does Ryan Murphy do it? Becky is such a special part of the glee ensemble and I adore her mini-Sue Sylvester character.

Emma singing Wedding Bell Blues with Coaches Beiste (who is now a married woman!) and Sylvester as backups and bridesmaids (complete with hideous replicas of Princess's Beatrice and Eugenie's hats) to Will was A-DOR-A-BLE! Emma's parents continue to be horrible people. Ugh!

Will's proposal to Emma was definitely a highlight. I loved the retro bathing suits, the synchronized swimming and Rihanna's We Found Love was swoon worthy. I've already said I want a glee wedding, but how about a glee proposal too? A woman can only dream can't she?

Personally I think Finn was the star of this episode. He tells Mr. Shue that he wants to do something special with his life, "Like my dad without the whole dying part." Mr. Shue brings in Carol and Burt to discuss Finn enlisting into the Army. Mike O'Malley's portrayal of Burt is one of my all-time favorite TV Dads. I know I've raved about him before, but when the Hummel/Hudson family came together, they really did become a family. Burt tells Finn he hopes his son will take over his [mechanic] shop. Carol breaks down and admits to Finn that something happened to his dad in Iraq and he came back a broken man. He developed a drug problem and died of an overdose in a hotel room. I'm really pissed at Carol for lying to Finn for 17 years about how his dad died, claiming he was a war hero. Finn is understandably devastated. Rachel wants Finn to know that he already is special and sings a ballad version of David Guetta's (featuring Usher) song Without You. It was truly breathtaking. It is probably my favorite Rachel song to date. I was speechless when Finn dropped to his knee and proposed to Rachel.

Yahrzeit

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of Mike's sudden death. If you had asked me this time last year where I would be today, I would have responded, with him. I never saw light at the end of the tunnel. I always looked at my glass as half empty. Yet, here I am, walking, talking, and breathing. Taking each day hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute and second by second. I wake up each morning and put one foot infront of the other, moving forward.

I have often said that my TLBS girls have kept me alive this last year. There is more truth in that statement than anyone realizes. With all the friends that have left after my Beloved's death, they sure have filled that void. My cup runneth over.

They threw a Loving Out Loud gathering for me today. We all met at Leanne's house, where she made delicious eggs benedict. We talked, laughed, and cried together. Most of the crying came after we watched the beautiful memorial slideshow that Marlena made. I haven't watched it but a handful of times, but the last 2 pictures ALWAYS get me. I asked Marlena to end it that way, but the finality of seeing them come up (our 10 year anniversary and The Johnson 5 on Christmas Eve before church) tear me up.

My Jesus Sista's, as I affectionately call them, gave me a memorial candle, known as Yahrzeit. I lit it at 4:57 tonight, sundown, and it will remain lit until sundown tomorrow. I read Psalm 121, which is near and dear to my heart, right after I lit the candle, and talked to my husband for a few minutes.

Words will never express the immense loss I feel for my Beloved, my best friend, but knowing I have God, champion of widows, my children, and my Jesus Sista's makes life worth living for.