Crushed

I logged on facebook tonight after our family prayers. You all (well not EVERYONE on facebook, but a great deal of you) have told me that my posts, my emotions, my feelings...that I put myself out there and it makes it easier for you to pray for me. I have asked for a few prayer requests, but tonight...my beautiful prayer warriors, tonight is different.

My spirit is crushed. I have been crushed for a couple of weeks now, and I have been throwing myself a great, big, 'ol pity party for 1. I am heartbroken (which is nothing new the last 11 weeks), but I feel it more strongly right now. I feel it to the depth of my soul. I feel it physically, not just emotionally. I. AM. BROKEN. I don't know if it's another holiday rolling around, or that Monday it will be 12 weeks since my Beloved left us and went to heaven.

Please pray for a few things for me. 1.) My husband's cause of death would be expedited. We are entering the 12th week on Sunday. The day after Mike's autopsy they told me 12-16 weeks. Please pray it would be 12, not 16. 2.) Pray that I would have the strength to move on. I'm going on, but I'm not moving very fast. I was born on Groundhog's Day, and I absolutely HATE the movie, yet I am living it EVERY damn day of my life right now. 3.) Pray that I would have the courage to do what I need. I'm a fearful person by nature, seriously afraid of my own shadow. I am afraid of my future. I am fearful of when the other shoe will drop. I don't want to live my life like that, not now or for the rest of my life.

When I logged in I scrolled down a bit to find that Laura, God's appointed messenger to me, had posted this verse...

"The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them: he delivers them from all their troubles. the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:17-18 She coulddn't have known why I logged in, and still, I felt like it was directed at me.

Thanks to all who read this and pray for me.