My Most Beautiful, Wonderful, Glorious Dream

I had the most beautiful dream this morning. It would have been more realistic if Mandelyn had been diagnosed with some disease, rather than just ripped from us in an instant. Sara and Mandelyn, along with family and friends, were on a cruise ship … why a cruise ship? I don't know, but maybe because of size. Anyhow, we all traded Mande off, each spending quality time with her, essentially saying our goodbyes. Beautiful sentiment, don't you think? If only that could have been. For my family, it almost was. We had a fluke meeting at Target the night before the accident. Mandelyn spent her last night on earth with us and for that, I'm eternally grateful. For those who know Mande's story, you know SHE was the one saying goodbye, and had been doing so leading up to the accident. We, however, said our goodbye's while she laid in a hospital bed on life support. My dream was peaceful, she was running around, hollering Cameron's name, saying, "Baby Handsome" and just being Mande. When I awoke from this magnificent dream, I expected to be down, but it was opposite. It was as if I (WE) just spend the night with her and actually felt REALLY good this morning. Cameron has seen her, but he believes he's dreaming. I have told Sara repeatedly that I want Cameron to tell me when he's 18 that Mandelyn came and slept with him. Or, when he has his firstborn (if it's a girl she will more than likely carry the name Mandelyn or Belle in some form or fashion) that she came to visit him and high-five him or something. Sara believes, and as do I, that these two will grow up together. And here is where the water works come. I can talk about Mandelyn ALL day, EVERY day, and only tear up, but when I talk about these two, I crumble to pieces. I just want her to be there for Cameron. I want him to know that he can ALWAYS go to her. I want to have more dreams like last night too. The kids were older, not terribly older, but where Dylan was cracking Mandelyn up with his newfound dancing and talking. You see, Cameron would crack Mandelyn up when she was a baby, and now Dylan is at the age where Mandelyn and he could have really started to get along. That is bittersweet, you know? Okay, enough rambling. I really only intended to talk about my dream, which has kept a smile on my face all morning.