Pity Party

I am TRULY disgusted with myself. After TLBS yesterday I took Peyton out of lunch at Red Robin. When I went to pay the bill, I took my camera, my glasses, and my camera out of my purse to get to my wallet. I put everything back BUT my camera. I had taken SUPER cute pics of Peyton at church, including her in a Zebra costume in the class, which she kept on telling the teachers, "I want Mommy to take a picture and put it on facebook."

I called Red Robin immediately after realizing I didn't have my camera. I explained to her that my husband died in January and THE last pictures of him are on the memory card (not to mention the ENTIRE 2011 year worth of pics that I have not downloaded). The manager on duty had nothing, took my name and number and told me to call back in the evening to speak to the manager.

I was sick to my stomach. After we dropped Cameron off to Tribes, the littles and I headed over to Red Robin. I was borderline hysterical. Nothing. The manager made sure she had my name and number assuring she would call me.

I picked Cameron up, we got home, the kids went to bed and I proceeded to throw myself the biggest, best pity party I have ever thrown myself. I. Deserved. It.

I am tired of holding it together all the time. I am tired of being strong. I have done it since January 10, 2011. I have been responsible and not allowed myself to be a mess. NOT ONCE!

I woke up this morning miserable. I have a migraine, my body aches, and my stomach hasn't decided if it wants to blow yet.

I realize that I can't do anything about my lost camera but pray that somebody somewhere looks at the pics, rather than just formatting the card, sees the pics of Mike, his urn, his children, wife, realizes it means an awful lot to me, and returns it.