I almost missed it...

How selfish am I? I woke up this morning thinking 3 weeks until Christmas. This also means 3 weeks until Christmas break, I can sleep in – WOOHOO! Then the fog cleared. I almost missed it. I almost missed the 6 month mark. I've been so busy finishing my Christmas cards, looking for outfits to wear in our Christmas picture, Christmas shopping, and Mike and my anniversary was Saturday. It almost passed me by. I don't want it to pass me by. I WANT to remember that on the 2nd of every month it had been x number of months since Mandelyn was in a car accident and became our angel in heaven. I NEED to remember that on the 4th of every month it had been x number of months since Mandelyn was taken off the ventilator and I sat in the hospital with her grandpa, my dad and the Payless girls questioning why this was happening. Why did it happen to her? Why Mandelyn? Why is she gone? Why did God need her back home? She must be pretty important up there, is all I can think about. For God to call her back to him so soon, she must be one of his favorite angels. Well, unfortunately, she was one of my favorite angels too and that is when I get a little angry, hurt, confused, and question God. I don't ordinarily make it a point to question His will, because His will be done. However, we have reached that 6 month mark without her and for some reason this hurts more than the others. As I said, Christmas is right around the corner, which means our first Christmas without her. We've already had to overcome many firsts without her, starting right off with her birthday. I thought that would be the hardest thing we'd have to do, but I'm not sure now. I use to buy her an ornament every year. This year I bought us one. An angel that reads, "I am with you because you remember me." Isn't that the truth? Who could ever forget you Mandelyn?