Cameron Goes to Camp 2013

For the fifth year we have driven to Fontana and dropped Cameron off at the Camp's bus stop. For the fifth year we have been abundantly blessed to have fundraised the money we need to send Cameron to camp for 2 weeks. In my opinion the opportunity afforded to Cameron to attend diabetic camp is priceless. He is learning the skills he needs to keep himself alive. He's only got 5 years before he goes out into the world relying on himself. I won't always be there. (I admit it scares the hell out of me to think of him handling this wretched disease alone!) This year Cameron leaves the youth session behind and begins his time at teen camp with the older kids. See you in 2 weeks son!

As has become our ritual, we watch the buses leave and then the littles and I head to The Cheesecake Factory (Best. Guacamole. Ever.) to begin our vacation minus Cameron. I think they were stuffed and approved.

Cameron's Home (Project 365/2010)

Cameron came home from Camp today! Dylan and I made the trip down to the bus stop to pick him up (as Hubby & Peyton are still very sick). Dylan was climbing on something he shouldn't have, fell backwards, and hit his head so bad his hair and head were green from the grass. Finally the bus arrived, and I could already tell how the next few days will play out. Cameron is PMSing from Camp withdrawals. He made some great friends, including J.T., who he knew from church. He was disappointed that Kevin, his counselor, was taken from him for his second session and somebody took one of his disposable cameras and shot all the pictures. I already had the thought of getting him a cheap digital as an early birthday present next year. I did receive a letter from him this year, which was super exciting, except for the fact that the first line was how he saw 2 bears. Oy! Apparently he has a girlfriend from Camp, and showed off with pride all of his scraps and cuts. BOYS! Now we have to be diligent in his blood sugars over the next 5 days, fax them to his endocrinologist, and hopefully the following Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday he'll be back on the pump...just in time for 6th grade.

Cameron (fighting back tears) & Ryan (his counselor for Session 5)

Cameron & J.T.

Dylan (Project 365/2010)

My heart is heavy as I post this, not knowing what the night will unfold. Dylan has been sick now for a few days. His symptoms were random and feeling confused, I decided to check his ketones. The stick turned purple (large ketones) instantly. I FREAKED! I then poked his finger to check his blood sugar number (95). I am in constant fear that Dylan or Peyton would develop Type 1 Diabetes. I don't know much about ketones in non-diabetics, so Hubby has taken Dylan down to the same hospital Cameron goes to. They are currently sitting in the Pediatric ER.





Update: Dr. ordered blood work and IV for Dylan (which breaks my heart). He is dehydrated from fever and illness. Ketones can be present in starvation diets (eating disorders) and various other scenarios in NON-diabetics. Dr. says Dylan's illness is viral and will just need to run it's course. He & Hubby got home around 1:30 am and we'll see if Dylan attends his first day of Kindergarten in 7 hours.

Cameron goes to Camp (Project 365/2010)

It is that time of year again ... where Cameron gets to be a normal kid for 2 weeks, and we get a much needed vacation from Type 1 diabetes. Cameron was super excited to have the same camp counselor, Kevin, as he did last year. His cabin mates are all new to him, which means new friends. We were shocked to see the drop in attendance this year. Kevin was telling me that they only have 85 campers this session (Cameron's cabin only has 5 campers), which is at least a 70% drop from last year's session. I can't help but wonder if the economy is a factor. One of the new camper's mother and I were chatting, and she was telling me they (her and her husband) would like to foster parent Type 1 diabetics. God bless them! I had NEVER considered Type 1 fosters and it made my heart smile to think about what a blessing her family would be to a Type 1 diabetic child, who more than likely is being moved around in the foster care system.

I had, however, been giving much thought this year to starting a meet up group for Type 1 diabetics in the IE. There are ZERO support groups here in the desert, and we so desperately need one. These kids need to interact all year long, not just for a week or two every Summer. When I was talking to Hubby about that just now, I even came up with perhaps starting a Non-Profit, where we could then gather donations all year long to help send MORE of these kiddos to camp every year.

Now that I've sent Cameron off to camp, I need to focus on gathering a team (and a team name that ROCKS) and fundraising for this year's jdrf Walk for a Cure 5K (3.2 miles) on October 2nd. We missed last years and this year is a MUST! We need a cure for these kids! Each and every night I pray for the Lord to heal my son's pancreas, followed by the request that Cameron be our only Type 1 diabetic child. A cure is right around the corner, I just know it, I feel it in my bones. Until then, we'll be fundraising and walking. Who is with me?

Last Meal (Project 365/2010)

When I got to the hospital this morning I was told Cameron would have to stay another day. As all the doctors made their rounds, we were told Cameron could come home. It was EXACTLY what he wanted to hear. He was ready to leave the day before, and the night he was admitted (he IS his Mama's son). His discharge came right at lunch time, and the nurse asked him if he wanted to eat lunch at the hospital or home. He jumped at the chance to eat one last hospital meal, as I must admit, LLUCH's food really is like no other hospital's food I've ever had. It's pretty darn good. We're home now and adjusting to a strict week ahead. It looks like we have to wait a month before restarting the insulin pump. Devastating news for both Cameron and I.

Mama Bear

I originally was going to title this Toe to Toe, or No. She. Didn't. LOL Alas, Mama Bear seemed only appropriate.

Cameron was moved right before shift change. Our (day) nurse came in, got Cameron all hooked up, and took his blood sugar (which is to be checked every hour on the hour). She said goodbye and off she went. Then Cameron's doctor came in and I saw the 2 (night) nurses at the nurse station directly outside of Cameron's door. After the doctor left I waited for Cameron's night nurse to come in, introduce her/himself (because there was one female and one male nurse at the station), and then I would get ready to come home. Alas, no nurse.

Cameron was beginning to feel pukey again and have some abdominal pain, so I went to the nurses station to see about getting him some more medicine. Cherry introduced herself as Cameron's nurse. You know those senses that take over? They were already tingling. She was sitting there, just sitting there, doing nothing. Cherry told me he couldn't have more medicine for another 3 hours, but would talk to the doctor about maybe giving him something else. Just then Cameron's heart monitor alarm went off. She came in, checked it, punched in whatever needed to be punched and went back out. No, Hi Cameron, I'm Cherry. NOTHING.

A few minutes later Cameron's IV alarm went off saying he had an occulusion. She came back in, from where she was sitting, checked his IV, punched in whagtever needed to be punched in, and told Cameron to keep his hand a certain way so the occlusion wouldn't happen again.

The heart monitor sounded again 10 minutes later. She came in and silenced it. REALLY? What if it WAS an issue? I didn't say anything, and she went back out to sit where she was sitting.

No joke, just a few minutes later Cameron's IV alarm went off again saying he had an occlusion. She came back in, checked his IV, punched in whatever needed to be punched in, and told Cameron to keep his hand a certain way so the occlusion wouldn't happen again. Not another few minutes later the same alarm went off again and Cameron hadn't moved his hand. Cherry came in, grabbed Cameron's hand and arm, angled it at the most awkward of angles and said, "Cameron if you can't keep your hand like this, I have a board that will do it for you!" DANGER! DANGER! Spidey senses were on overdrive.

Cherry was up anyway, so she decided to do Cameron's 8 pm blood sugar check. She gathered her supplies, cotton ball, blood glucose meter, strips and when she went to scan his ID bravelet, he wasn't wearing it because SHE hadn't retreived it from his file to put it on him. (Note the day nurse just punched in his ID number, which, honestly, super big hassle because that number is huge.) Cherry scanned the bracelt, but didn't put it on Camerno, and threw it on the table. Cameron asked Cherry if he could poke his finger and she said, "Sure. Just don't move that hand." as she pointed to the arm that kept sounding occlusion. Hmmmmmm...Cameron, did you pick that up? He didn't.

She lays all her supplies out on Cameron's bed and Cameron says, "I need an alcohol wipe."

Cherry responds, "We don't use alcohol wipes."

WHAT? Okay, so when Cameron was first diagnosed, we were taught to use antibacterial soap. I could buy stock in it we have so much. We religiously use it, and Cameron washes his hands before taking his blood sugar. HOWEVER ...

I said, "What? You don't use alcohol wipes? We've been here since 2 pm, he's had his blood drawn every hour, and every nurse has wiped his finger with an alcohol wipe. Clearly you can't expect him to get out of this bed, all tied up, and wash his hands at the sink?"

Cherry reached for an alcohol wipe from her scrub top and threw it on the bed. I. Stood. Straight. Up. and behind her. She was shorter than me, which is saying a lot because I'm pretty short, so I could see over her shoulder very clearly.

Cherry opened the alcohol wipe and handed it to Cameron. He proceeds to take said alcohol wipe and rub it inbetween 2 fingers, not ever using his hand that kept sounding the occlusion. Are you with me so far? He used his fingers to rub the alcohol wipe between them. Cherry then hands him the lancet (the device that pokes his finger) and Cameron says, "I can't do this one handed." DING DING DING!

Cherry says, "I'll have to do it then." and takes the lancet from Cameron.

Cherry asks, "Which finger?" Cameron shows her which finger to use and Cherry proceeds to put the lancet in the middle of his finger.

Lesson #2 when Cameron was first diagnosed. You NEVER poke your finger in the middle where all your nerves are. You poke on the sides of your finger.

Cameron hollers, "NOT THERE!" Cherry huffs. Cameron explained calmly, "You can't poke in the middle of the finger that is where my nerves are and it hurts."

Side note: Cameron had already been poked in the middle of the finger today from another nurse, while Cameron wasn't paying attention and dry heaving.

Cherry stomped her foot sideways, huffed, and began to berate my son about how she knows where to poke for a blood draw. I interveined.

Composed, more composed than I expected, I explained, "Look, he's frustrated. I'm frustrated. YOU don't get to be frustrated. (I pointed to Cameron) This child is 1 of 3 and my entire world. He is 10 years old, with a disease no child should have to endure, and the last thing he wants to do is spend the night in a hospital, hooked up to a bunch of monitors, poked and prodded. He didn't ask to get sick. Where is your compassion? This is a PICU floor."

Cherry turned her ENTIRE body and moved toe to toe with me. My ENTIRE body tightened and ...

I. Lost. My. Mind. (a little of my religion too)

I screamed, at a decible I had NEVER imagined my voice could reach, "GET OUT OF THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW." I was like a banchee, and it scared the crap out of me, because that voice was my mother'segg donor's.

Cherry leaned in to me, almost nose to nose. I don't know why she didn't say anything, but Thank. God. She. Didn't. I would have been arrested.

Feeling like I was back in control of myself, I opened my mouth, and scared the crap out of myself for a second time, as my voice was even higher, when I said, "NOW!"

Cherry paused, I am sure she wanted so badly to say something, but then exited the room. I became a puddle of tears. Cameron had seen me at my absolute worse, and don't think I hadn't seen the reaction on his face to my screaming.

Just moments after Cherry exited Cameron's room, the male nurse came running and asked, "Is there anything I can help you with?"

I was shaking, crying, heart palpiatting, and said, "You can keep her out of this room."

The charge nurse came in shortly after. I apologized for my behavior. Let's fcace it, I was on a PICU floor, and the very last thing I would want to do was disturb another patient. I told them EVERYTHING that had happened in the last 75 minutes. The male nurse took a look at Cameron's heart monitor, and fixed it. In less than 15 minutes, Cameron's occlusion was fixed as well. Cherry would have just needed to take out 15 minutes of her sitting on my butt time to fix everything that was putting her in a bad mood that night. I told the charge nurse that I could not leave Cameron in Cherry's care, and that I understood this was a PICU floor with nurse patient ratios, but I wanted Cameron moved. They moved him just a few minutes later.

The charge nurse asked to see our ID bracelets, and ... we weren't wearing them because Cherry hadn't given them to us. I apologized over and over and I apologized again to Amber, his new night nurse. Do you know what Amber told me? "I wish more parents stood up for their patient rights like you." WHAT? WOW!

Do you know what Cameron asked Amber? "She won't come in here and harm me tonight will she?" OMG! My son, the least of his worries, should be of some renegade nurse messing with him. Amber and I calmed him down and explained how that couldn't happen. After Amber left I told Cameron if Cherry darkened his door with anything other than an apology, to scream just like I did. :)

Cameron told me I scared him. I told Cameron I scared myself, but that is what a Mother's love is like. I told him I was a Mama Bear protecting her cub.

When I left the hospital there was road constuction on I-15 and I was all kinds of backwards. I was on the phone with Hubby and the events of the night were still with me, that I was screaming in the phone because I was lost. Finally, when I hit the bed, I laid down to rest my eyes, and my heart beat was irregular. My body was still tight, and I praised God for using on my voice and not my hands.

When I woke up ... I felt good. I felt right. I am ashamed for my actions, but in my heart and soul believe I was right in my response to Cherry the nurse. I believe that if I had seen her acting that way to another patient, I would have interviened by reporting it. Cherry has absolutely no business working on a Peds floor, especially PICU. I reported her.

DKA (Project 365/2010)

I knew what it was this time, but it was even scarier to watch. I knew it could happen quickly (in as little as 4 hours), but I had no idea just how quick it was. Cameron got up this morning and looked terrible. In hindsight he was already in DKA, short for Diabetic Ketoacidosis. Hindsight is a pain, isn't it. His numbers were in the 400-500's. He was dropping ketones, but honestly, we thought it was because he hadn't taken his full dose of Lantus (slow-acting insulin) the night before he started insulin in his pump. We did the protocol, gave correction insulin doses, drank water, checked every hour, and by 11 am I knew he was going to the hospital. I called his endocrinologist, but our nurse wasn't there. The one on the phone was a terrible stand-in. She told me to take Cameron to the nearest hospital. I took him to St. Mary's, where the triage nurses got pissy at me about how I knew he was in DKA. They took his blood (467) and took us straight back...where we sat for 2 hours without seeing a soul. My son was in such pain, abdominal pain is a symptom of DKA. He was crying and NOTHING was being done. NO IV! Then. I. Heard. It. A nurse told another nurse, "It's not like we can do anything for a DKA kid anyway." WTH? Are you freaking kidding me? You can't? You can't put an IV in him and start flushing his system? You can't put him in an ambulance and send him down to Loma Linda where they CAN treat him? Ah, hell no. I told Cameron to get up and we walked out (15 minutes later a doctor from St. Mary's ER called my house to see where Cameron was).

I put Cameron in the car and we drove down the hill to Loma Linda. During our drive, another symptom of DKA reared it's ugly head, vomiting. I was ill prepared for this, and thus, my backseat floorboard caught it all (and in June heat it baked while we were in the hospital). We walked into the hospital and he went straight for the trash can. I asked the triage nurse if she had a bucket. I ran to Cameron, sat him down, bucket in hand and signed Cameron in. Within 5 minutes (NO EXAGGERATION) he was tagged and being wheeled back into the Peds ER. Within 15 minutes an IV was started, his blood was drawn, and they gave him something to stop the vomiting. About 45 minutes after that we got word he was in DKA. NO SHOCK THERE! We were told he was being admitted, and originally they thought he would go to the regular floor. The nurses hooked him up with a video game system, and a Star Wars game ... and all was right in Cameron's world.

When the second IV came into play, Cameron wasn't happy about it, but Mr. Independent took it like I knew he would. He was frustrated. Seriously, 10 years old and 2 hospitalizations in less than 2 years, I'd be frustrated too. Cheryl, our nurse, drew more blood, and took an arterial blood gas. These results proved his acid and bicarbonate levels were serious enough that they would need to send him to the PICU. Exactly where I didn't want him to go.

I left the room to make some phone calls after the second IV was in and when I returned Cameron said he saw one of the doctor's from diabetic camp. A little while later he came back in and I instantly recognized him. When he introduced himself, Vance, I told him I had a picture of him, but no name. Vance asked if Cameron was going to camp this year, and I told him we were still lacking funding. He is a SUPER great guy and continued to check on us until we were moved.

Wouldn't you know it, right before shift change Cameron was moved upstairs. He was in an ornery mood, when his blood sugar is elevated his mood swings are TERRIBLE. I had to keep telling him to be respectful, but it was clear my son was NOT HAPPY TO BE THERE! His nurse, who we saw for maybe 10 minutes, came in and got him all hooked up and did another blood sugar check on him, his number was going down. I knew I had to come home tonight (I'm still passing a kidney stone), but wanted to meet the night nurse and make sure Cameron was comfortable. Thank God I stayed. Our night nurse, Cherry, turned me into a person I did not recognize, as well as a Mama who scared her son (Mama Bear post).

After Cameron was MOVED from Cherry's care, I made sure he was okay with my leaving and promised to be back up first thing in the morning. He was tired, and seriously needed his rest anyway. I will call his nurse periodically in the middle of the night to check on him.

We don't know how long Cameron will be in the hospital. We don't know the status of his insulin pump (except that it's still attached and the alarm keeps sounding letting us know it's on suspend). Vance said they might restart it in the hospital to monitor it. Sounds like a plan to me.

Priceless (Project 365/2010)

Cameron's shipment came today! UPS delivered 2 boxes and I couldn't wait for Cameron to come home to look inside. We opted to use Medtronic, the leader in Insulin Pump therapy. I'm so very happy we did, as Cameron was afforded the luxury of getting the latest (released in April) MiniMed Paradigm Revel Pump 523 in BLUE. Couple that with the latest in Infusion sets, we chose the mio Infusion set, which is wonderful for pediatrics, and also in BLUE. PLUS, we were blessed to have been approved for the Guardian REAL-Time Continuous Glucose Monitoring System. Most first time pumpers are not approved for this expensive add-on, which I think is a complete disservice to the pediatric diabetics out there. We are so blessed, as Hubby's insurance covered ALL pump supplies 100%! No out of pocket cost for us. God is GREAT! Every 3 months we will get a new 4 box shipment of supplies (3 months of supplies, but an additional month for extras). The pump itself is under a 4 year warranty, and by legal standards set up by Medtronic (and other pump companies) with the help of insurance, Cameron will automatically receive a new, and upgraded (if there is one) pump every 4 years. The beauty of this is if his older pump is still in good shape, we keep it as a backup. Nice, right?

Our first shipment consisted of the following:

Cost of Insulin Pump: $6,195
Cost of Infusion Sets: $135/a month (x 4)
Cost of CGM Transmitter: $999
Cost of CGM Sensors: $350/a month (x 4)
Cost of Reservoirs: $34.65/a month (x 4)
OneTouch UltraLink: $89.00
CareLink: $59.99
No Out of Pocket to Us: PRICELESS

Now we wait. UGH! We wait for a Pump Trainer to call us and set up (in-home) training on how to use all of this stuff.

Diabetic Ketoacidosis

The American Diabetes Association just posted this article on Diabetic Ketoacidosis, also known as DKA, on facebook. As I read the article, I started to relive the days leading up to Cameron's diagnosis. I remember EVERYTHING about when the doctor's told us he was in DKA, and when I read up on it, how scary it was.

I try to keep Cameron healthy, and fortunately, his immune system is still the bomb. We monitor is ketones via urine samples, when his bs numbers go above 250. And we have a little pill he must take if he begins to vomit or become nauseous. I could write a book on what I've learned, and still learning, about Type 1 Diabetes.

New Lock (Project 365/2010)

I. Am. Scared. To. Death.

I've locked up the pantry. I've locked up the fridge. Now I'm locking up my bedroom. Last night, before bed, I was doing my nighttime routine (NetiPot, floss, brush, etc) when I noticed the brand new (Children's) Motrin bottle on my counter...EMPTY! The seal was still on, only enough of it was gone to open the cap, otherwise, it looked just as if I had taken it out of the box. I asked Hubby if he had given any to the kids. No. I caught Cameron in our room earlier in the day (Sunday) and told him, AGAIN, that he is NOT allowed in our room unsupervised (an issue we've been having recently). After finding the Motrin, I took an assessment of other medicines and found the children's Benadryl gone, a bottle of children's cough syrup (and NOT the diabetic kind) empty, as well as half a bottle of Excedrin Migraine missing. Did you hear that? ADULT STRENGTH Excedrin Migraine! My head was swimming.

Cameron is self medicating? Dumbfounded. Around the time I caught Cameron in our room, Hubby discovered PEYTON's toddler snacks missing. We had not kept her food in the pantry, but changed that last night. As if this wasn't enough, this morning I found one of my (3) brand new packs of gum opened and 6 sticks missing! I had just bought these, because I mistakenly thought I had misplaced the brand new pack I bought LAST week. Hubby doesn't chew it, and I only chew it at church Sunday mornings to avoid snacking at the Island. I am in utter shock at the levels Cameron is reaching and ... my heart is breaking. So today, I put a keyed entry lock on our bedroom door. It's like Fort Knox in the Johnson household. Hubby and I carry keys with us at all times. Freaking RIDICULOUS! I bawled my eyes out during nap time. Who is this kid? Is this ALL diabetes related? And if he's this way at 10 years old...what will he be like at 13? 15? 17? Will I see my firstborn graduate high school? Or will he have killed himself by then? I honestly don't know. I. Honestly. Don't. Know.



I'm considering buying this as a double protection against this happening again.

Response to a Response

I woke up this morning to quite a surprise. Before leaving facebook for Lent, I imported my blog to post there, as some were confused on how to find it. I thought, long and hard, about turning off my notifications for comments posted, decided against it, and toughed it out on a couple I REALLY wanted to respond back to. This morning, however, I knew I was done for. At first, I began writing my response in Word, and I was going to break Lent, log into facebook, copy and paste my response, comment and go back out without looking anywhere else. However, as I drove the boys to school this morning, I decided to blog about it instead. :)

I have never met David in real life. He is married to a REAL life friend from high school, Kelli, and I want to take the time right now to THANK HIM completely for his candor, his opinion, and taking his time out to respond to a very personal, very emotional, very raw blog post I posted yesterday.

David Carroll commented on your note "Wit's End (Project 365/2010)":

"The lying thing I can relate too. But at that age I don't think that any of use can really have a grasp on consequences to our health from our actions. The important thing to remember is that he has a completely different perceptive of everything in his life then you do. I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to be him dealing with what he has to deal with and trying to coupe with the issues he has to deal with. It's great that you look to God's word to help explain things but while in doing so remember to use his whole word and not just on perspective or one side of the word. Without the full context God's word can be used as a tool by the Enemy. Why are we obedient to God? why do we serve him, does he want us to come to him through fear or love ? Our sinful nature , sin in general is a hard concept to grasp for many, not excluding adults. God wants us to approached our children with patience and love(1 Corinthians 13:4-7) as he does with us. Don't get me wrong, obviously we are going to discipline(Proverbs 23:13-14) but remember as God disciplines us it is out of love and a good measure to know when we are losing our focus on God is when we begin stray from his path( I as well as every parent in the world I think has sworn or outed out of line at times) . I think that it is awesome that you are trying to talk to him to and explain to him what loving himself means, but I will say that I personally wouldn't(didn't) have gotten any of that and truly understood those concepts until I was a grown man, in fact I would say in the past 10 years. And I know that it is not just his health that is a concern(at least it wouldn't be for me). And maybe I am making a false assumption, but , I am sure that you are taking his behavior personal, maybe feeling like his actions is a measure of how he feels about you and/or the rest of the family in general. The truth is our children(and I am fixing to steal what I heard someone else say) Our children will never love us as much as we love them. If they did, they would never leave the house and pursue their own path.

As a brother in Christ reminded me, as in anything we need to completely surrender to God.

"(1 Corinthians 10:13) - 13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

I will tell you a personal story, I have been dealing with the lying issue myself and was at my last straws. I prayed to God and he spoke to me one night. I had been praying that he open my child's eyes to the truth and I got more then what I expected Back.

He told me that I was to him what my child was to me in relation to obedience. How could I expect obedience when I , myself, was not completely obedient and giving everything to God. Obviously God does not expect me to be perfect, I am a work in progress as are all my brothers and sisters in Christ. I still need to be a parent and teach my children and guide them even if I can't be perfect and even if that makes me a hypocrite sometimes. But what I did get from this is another point of view, another perception.

I love Jesus will all my heart, I want to be everything that God wants me to be. But I am still an adolescent at times, disobedient , doesn't mean that I don't love Him or I don't want to make Him happy.

I was humbled by this answer. I needed to adjust my approach. I needed to work on me just as much as I was working on them. I need to focus on God and focus on
what he wanted me to do instead of letting my anger, hurt , and frustration control the situation. (Like I said, still a work in progress).

As far as a psychologists. I just have to ask, have you sought our counseling from your church or pastor ? To often these days conventional secular mental health professionals want to label children and want to make the issue go away through meds. I think the first answer always is to seek Gods help and to utilize the body.

I had another question, have you tried , instead of taking away from him, substitution. There isn't a young man that I have known who hasn't been a black whole when it comes to food. Maybe instead of just locking the fridge , dish out some cash, buy him is own refrigerator that he is free to go into. Get him involved and allow him to choose from fruit Veggies or whatever he is allowed to eat. Get him to start making his own recipes. Maybe he can take some snacks that he made himself to school. Pre-package snack Packs to the right serving sizes. Come up with a currency system, allow him to earn a reward for his effort, maybe for keeping his log up-to-date.

Anyhow I hope that I didn't get to involved, and God bless you if you read all that. You and your son will be in our prayers." , God Bless you either way :P"

David, I want to thank you so very much for responding to this post. Your response is EXACTLY what I needed to hear from somebody, and didn’t realize it until I opened my email this morning. It was a ray of sunshine in a gloomy moment in my life. And having never met you, I am deeply grateful for you taking your time out, opening yourself up, and giving me your point of view. THANK YOU!

The whole time I was reading your response, I was screaming in my head, “YES!” and “I’ve done that too.” LOL I realize Cameron is 10, and at such a young age, it is hard to grasp the severity of one’s actions. Having said that, Cameron IS an extremely intelligent 10 years old, a point I have come to realize I need to step back from, and let him BE 10 years old. I tend to expect more from him, because of his intelligence, and I admit, it was hard to cut that back where his diabetes is concerned, but I had to. As for reading the Bible, he has daily devotions as well, and we read the ENTIRE verse, and then dissect it. You hit the nail right on the head; anyone can find a verse in the Word and spin it to their advantage. I don’t feel his behavior is personal, but it does hurt me to my core. He is my first born, and the most like me. I will admit, when you wrote that, I had to sit back and consider it, but in my gut, I do not feel it is personal. It IS, however, EXTREMELY personal to him. As he asked me, through tears, last night, “Why do I have to have this disease?” And I believe that question is the basis of all his actions.

Obedience in anyone is hard, ESPECIALLY when it comes to serving our Father in Heaven. We are sinful by nature. I deal with the struggle of obedience and sin EVERY day. I am an adolescent when it comes to my walk with the Lord. I can’t imagine a more loving Father than ours in Heaven, as he deals with all of our adolescent behaviors second by second. LOL I do realize, as I was writing that blog, that people would look at me and say, “How could she possibly be doing him any good as heavy as she is.” And the truth is, I haven’t been as forthcoming about my weight problem, but I have lost almost 40 lbs since August, after structuring my own obedience (and surrendering) to how the Lord wants us to use our bodies. I thought, selfishly I’ll admit, leading by example would help him. If I become healthy, he’ll see how serious it is. I realize now that is not the answer, as he has to WANT to be healthy. And you are correct; his health is not the only concern.

I laughed out loud as I read your “stolen” saying, “Our children will never love us as much as we love them.” Every night, before I kiss Dylan goodnight, he says, “I love you Mama.” And I respond, “I love you more.” He giggles and says, “NO!” And I tell him, “It is IMPOSSIBLE for you to love me more than I love you.” When he tries to say “IMPOSSIBLE” back to me, he squints his eyes because it’s such a big word. I mean it every time I say it and I LOVE how he responds back to me. I also know that truer words have never been spoken. A parent’s love is like none I have ever experienced. And I have only experienced it since having Cameron (a blog for another time).

I realize I made a huge deal of the lying issue with Cameron. My reasoning for that is because I grew up a liar. I was the product of my raising (and the complete and utter disregard for truth in my household). I’m not proud of this fact, but as a Christian woman, I DESPISE liars. I have no tolerance for them, and feel like if you can’t be honest and tell the truth, then don’t talk to me. Because I vowed to do better by my children, Cameron’s lying is an issue of MINE and, this is where I can honestly say, is VERY personal for ME. I do pray about it nightly, and patiently await my answer. I also ask Jesus to touch Cameron’s pancreas and heal it, as well as a cure for Type 1 Diabetes, and again, patiently wait for our Lord’s response. I will continue to do so until I get an answer, or until my dying breath, whichever comes first. :)

As for the psychologist, I believe it is the right thing at this time. I had been praying about it for some time and had gotten my answer last week. I agree with your assessment of Doctor’s labeling and shaking meds at our children as a cure. I am blessed that my Hubby is a Special Education teacher and wouldn’t allow such nonsense. I am doubly blessed by a Pastor at our church. You see, he has 2 Type 1 Diabetic daughters. One is in high school, and the other (was diagnosed a few months after Cameron) is in the same grade, and class, as Cameron. He is the first person I contacted when this took a turn for the worse. I contacted, in order, yesterday, my church, Cameron’s school counselor, Cameron’s primary doctor, Cameron’s endocrinologist, and our insurance. ALL of which suggested a psychologist. The way it was explained to me, was Cameron would be seeking help for coming to term (and dealing) with his illness, which makes complete sense to me. As much as I hoped to find Christian psychologist, finding one licensed to deal with children AND children with illnesses was much more important.

Finally, as for the food issue and the bottomless pit that is a man’s stomach. ;) In the beginning, we had to be strict regarding his food. And, for anyone who knows our family, we were already pretty strict. My weight problem has been a life long struggle. I was not about my kids dealing with the same thing. In fact, when Cameron was diagnosed, he told the nutritionist in the hospital, I’ve never even drank a Coke. She, the nurses, and the doctor’s laughed, thought he was full of it. When we got back to the hospital and were talking nutrition, she relayed what Cameron said and winked at me. I was ASTONISHED. I returned the favor by explaining that my child’s mouth had NEVER touched a soda. I went on to explain that they were telling me my child had a food based disease, which made no sense to me, because he was one of the healthiest eaters I knew. Writing that just now brought tears to my eyes, because it wasn’t until he became a Type 1 Diabetic that his eating habits changed. Grrrrr. Cameron knows there are foods he can eat without taking an additional shot, and the fridge is chalked full of them. His refusal comes from taking additional shots for the crap he puts in his mouth. He has been allowed WHATEVER he likes (within reason – he can’t eat chocolate cake or ice cream on a daily basis), but he MUST take the shot to cover it. That fact is what he is rebelling against right now. And at the heart of it, I GET IT! I wouldn’t want to take a shot EVERY time I ate either. His resentment for having this disease is valid. My prayer is that we can help him accept it, embrace it (which is asking a lot), and become the healthy young man I pictured him to be when I held my firstborn son. In the meantime, I have to tighten the reigns a bit, because his continual high blood sugars are damaging his body. He is already having problems with his feet (and that type of damage is irreversible). I hate changing up my fridge and pantry, but it IS a necessity at this time, to save my son.

David, I have to say, your currency idea is FANTASTIC and I am going to delve into that idea more over this weekend. Thank you again for your response. I pray you read my equally long response. he he he

And for everyone else who took the time out to read this long winded blog post, God Bless!

Wit's End (Project 365/2010)

Ever been there? At your wit's end? I currently reside there. Now the question remains, do I call my friends in the white coats and be taken away to a MUCH needed vacay in a padded room, or do I FIGHT until my dying breath?

It's no secret we have been dealing with Cameron and his sneaking food. When it first began, I COMPLETELY and SHAMEFULLY admit, I became a wild woman. I became a mother I did not know, screaming, spanking ... Didn't he understand he was killing himself? I changed courses and we did Bible study. I had him read aloud verses about loving yourself, how we are to treat our bodies, obey our parents, and that Satan is the father of lies (I wish I had someone who had done those things for me when I was 9 and 10 years old). We discussed the verses he read, he asked questions, and it helped...for awhile. His endocrinologist talked to him in December. That seemed to help...for awhile. I took everything away from him (no video games, TV, treats) and it didn't work. Now...well, be sure to check out the picture for 365/2010 further down this post.

Monday Cameron calls me with his 10 am number. The nurse gets on the phone and says, "Cameron's teacher wanted me to inform you she caught Cameron eating Nerds in class this morning." WHAT?!?!?

Oh no, wait, it's not the worst part of it. Last night I get a phone call from Cameron's teacher. She said a VERY reliable source told her that Cameron took a donut from a box of donuts on the teacher's desk. AND, here's where the last shoe dropped, he had been stealing food out of a student's lunch, but instead of calling me, she talked to Cameron and it stopped.

Upon learning all of this, and knowing what has happened (here at home) in the last few weeks, I decided to do a little investigating. I knew things had progressed and gotten much worse (i.e. sneaking food, taking insulin on his own to cover it up, and having extreme lows). In fact, he used up an insulin pen (containing 300 units) in just 2 weeks. TWO...T-W-O...2 weeks! We left Disneyland Friday night because his blood sugar was so out of whack, he was PHYSICALLY ill. I began to go through his blood sugar meter and fill in any blank spots in his log (I knew his endocrinologist would ask for them). Yes, well, not only is he sneaking, stealing, AND lying about it, he's also lying about his blood sugar numbers. I was DUMBFOUNDED when I looked in his log, reading the numbers he had been given me (and thus giving him the CORRECT number of insulin units based on said number and food consumed) and read the ACTUAL blood sugar numbers from his meter. For example, last night at dinner, he told me his number was 162 (GREAT!) and he took 6 units of insulin. His blood sugar number was ACTUALLY 502! 5-0-2! At bedtime he told him number was 182 (GREAT!). I instructed him to take 10 units for bed. His number, according to this meter, was 334.

Who is this kid? He's not mine. I don't recognize him. I have said, time and time again, that he came out from my womb INDEPENDENT. And ... I GET IT! Believe me, I GET IT! Tell me at 9 years old (or 35 years old) that I can't eat what I use to, and in order to eat, I have to take a shot. I would be infuriated. I AM infuriated. These words were told to my son! So, it stands to reason, that if I'm that pissed off, what is he? He is the Hulk!

I have spent much of the day on the phone, and Internet, seeking help. First, the school would like to put Cameron on independent study for a few weeks. This works for me. Spring Break is coming, and I could, theoretically, have him home for 5 weeks. In that time, I could do some serious damage to his a1c! Secondly, it would help him and I implement the new carbohydrate eating plan, again, taking down his a1c! Finally, it takes away the need for pulling him out of school for therapy. Oh yes, he IS going to a psychologist.

When I called his endocrinologist this morning, bawling my eyes out, she calmed me and said it was very urgent to get him help. Ya think? She got right on it, and a referral was sent to Cameron's primary doctor. In the meantime, I talked to his school counselor, who spoke to him, and she pointed me in a couple of directions. At last, I spoke to our insurance company, who gave me the names of 2 (ONLY TWO) psychologists in our area that specialize in children with medical conditions. Upon talk to the endocrinologist again, she knew of one and had me call. Now I'm waiting for a call back, but the endo said she'd be pulling strings in the background. She also wants to see him sooner than later. We weren't scheduled for another endo appointment until the end of April. Looks like we'll be going in a couple weeks.

I knew Lent was going to an awakening, but I thought I was going to be the one awakened. HA! Man plans, God laughs. Instead of focusing on myself (that padded room vacay is looking pretty sweet right about now), I'll be diving head first in taking care of Cameron (and Hubby, whose Dr. wasn't happy with him either on Monday). A woman's work is never done (or dull).



This is what someone at their wit's end does. I wish this were a joke, but we have seriously locked up the fridge (and I'm waiting for the pantry locks to arrive). I will do ANYTHING to keep my son from killing himself.

What Happens at Camp ...

Stays at camp. I think that will be the motto from here on out. Along with the motto, we're implementing one week at Diabetic camp and one week Christian camp, non-negotiable. IF Cameron wants to attend Diabetic camp, he MUST attend Christian camp.

Although I am grateful that Cameron was able to experience camp, especially diabetic camp, I am so disappointed in EVERYTHING he has told me since coming home.

1.) I fell out of a tree.




2.) I passed out and nobody found me. When I woke up, I went to the infirmary where my blood sugar was in the 50's.

3.) They didn't wash my clothes between session 2 & 3.

4.) I drank a Diet Mt. Dew.

5.) My highest number was 599.

Oh ... the list continues. I trusted my son in the care of this camp. Falling out of a tree, he's a boy, boys climb trees, and stupid boys fall out of them. LOL What I can NOT forgive is his clothes not being washed in 12 days, when I only sent enough clothes for 6. I can NOT forgive him passing out, his blood sugar number going as high as 599, or the fact that in the snack shack they sold Diet Mt. Dew and didn't make him take a shot to cover it. My son has never, NEVER, drank a soda in his ENTIRE life. And Mt. Dew, there ain't NO days! His attitude is atrocious right now. He has been mopping around for DAYS, crying in intervals, because "they understand everything I'm going through."

The plus side of camp ... Cameron is willing to discuss an insulin pump! Woo-Hoo! I ordered some reading material for when he came home. I would estimate that 90% of the campers were pump users. He read the material, without me telling him it was there, and instead of shutting me down every time I brought up the subject, we have a dialog going.

Wordless Wednesday: Camp

Cameron packed and ready to board the bus to Diabetic Camp.

Check out more Wordless Wednesday over at 5 Minutes for Mom.

Cameron's Going to Camp

We are so very blessed! The fundraising worked, because Cameron has been afforded the privledge of going to diabetic camp for TWO sessions. This means that our friends ROCK! I would have NEVER, in a million years, thought enough money would be raised for back to back sessions, costing $770. However, American Diabetes Association kicked in this year too. We can't thank you all enough!

The Honeymoon is Over

The doctor declares that "The Honeymoon Period" is over. Our second endocrinologist appointment was not as warm and fuzzy as our first. I am happy to announce that Cameron has gained his weight back, and now weighs in at a 79.8 pounds. You can't see this, but I'm doing the Chandler dance! He's also 4'7.

In other news, Cameron's A1C was 9.8. OUCH! The doctor says, "His diabetes is out of control." I look at Cameron with a stern look. My son, independent, intelligent, insanely handsome, rebellious son ... quit keeping a log book of numbers six weeks ago. I had no information to call the doctor with when his numbers started to climb.

Now for my fault...I got lenient. He would call from school and they were having a treat, and I would say okay. NO MORE OF THAT! I don't care how badly I feel about him not being able to participate. I pray his 5th grade teacher is a little more receptive and understanding and takes into consideration the diabetic child in her classroom, because Lord knows, the crack pot he's had this year ... IF I HEAR ONE MORE DAMN TIME THAT HER F@&*ING DOG HAS DIABETES!

We move forward from this. Cameron's Lantus has been adjusted to 8 units. His carb ratio for breakfast is now 1:20 with lunch and dinner at 1:18. We go back at the end of August, beginning of September. Right around the time he turns 10. Yes, I said 10!

Fundraising

Almost immediately the hospital staff talked to us about diabetic camp. I, of course, am a Mama and was like, "I'm not sending my newly diagnosed 9 year old diabetic son to camp, BY HIMSELF!" I was more interested in learning how to keep him alive, keep him out of the hospital, than going to camp. HONESTLY!

I have since changed my tune. Camp is for Type I Diabetics only. The adults, and volunteers, who run the camp are all Type I Diabetic children who have grown up. And each week brings in a refreshed hospital staff that specializes in ... you guessed it, Type I Diabetes, complete with endocrinologist! Woo-Hoo! Camp will include tons of fun and games AND diabetes education. What more could this Mama ask for?

Help with funds to send Cameron to camp. Cost is $410 and Lord knows we can't afford the entire cost, over and above his monthly supplies. So today we're working on a letter to send out for sponsorship for camp. Any amount is going to help keep costs down for us. The best part, tax deductible!

In the last 6 weeks Cameron has began rebelling against his diabetes. His blood sugar is proof of it and his A1C test, which he takes next Wednesday at his 2nd quarterly appointment, will show the doctor exactly what he's NOT been doing. It's all part of the grief stages, sure, but he can not continue or the complications are endless.

I pray he gets sponsored and will keep you all informed if he does!

Walk to Cure Diabetes

I can't believe it's been 6 months since the diagnosis.

Friday, November 14: I didn't know he was sick. He didn't look right to me that morning, and he told me his stomach hurt, but he wanted to go to school. He came home from school that afternoon and took a nap. When we were sitting on the couch that evening, he just didn't look right. He had lost weight. Why hadn't I noticed that before? His face was sunken. He vomited, clear liquid, in the evening, and knowing his iron stomach, thought, COOL, we're over it now.

November 15 & 16: He was more like his old self on Saturday. He ate more, including pizza for dinner, and was more active, but then decreased on Sunday again.

November 17: Cameron vomited in the middle of the night Sunday into Monday morning, so I knew I wasn't going to send him to school. I opted for a treatment of the BRAT (Banana, Rice, Applesauce, Toast) diet to help relieve his stomach bug. When he woke up I was scared. His lips were white and so very dry (his lips do this same thing when his blood sugar has gotten too low). His breathing was labored. He looked terrible. How did this happen? It was so fast. The doctor diagnosed him with tonsillitis and did a culture of his throat. Tonsillitis, okay, well, labored breathing because his tonsils are fighting off infection, right? Cameron had been seen in August for his year check up and she noticed an 11 pound weight loss. ELEVEN? In three months (15 total before his diagnosis)! She ordered blood work to be done right then and wrote him out of school for 3 days until the antibiotic for the tonsillitis began working.

November 18: He still had that labored breathing. He was white as ghost. He went to take a shower and I caught a glimpse of him from behind, naked, and looking like something out of a concentration camp. THE healthiest kid I know ... what was wrong with him?

November 19: He was a shell of himself. He laid there, despite Dylan and Peyton's attempts to play with him. When he did get up to play, he tired very rapidly. I tried to keep my mind from the "cancer" word, but it was so hard. I NEVER said it out loud to Mike or anyone. I was watching my son waste away in front of my very eyes. Despite his constant belly ache, he ate lunch, still on the BRAT diet. And five minutes before 1 pm, the doctor called.

I began hyperventilating the second she asked if I was home alone. I left the living room with the kids and went into my bedroom. She was so very kind and patient and allowed me to scream, crying into the phone. After I stopped, she informed me I needed to get him to the hospital ASAP. From there, you know the story, and if you don't ... click on the label diabetes.

Mike said diabetes had come to his mind. When you hear diabetes you think frequent urination and drinking lots of water. This was the norm for Cameron. He's always been a heavy drinker of water. His urination was no different, but then again, the child is 9 and it wasn't like I was changing his diaper or counting how many times he went into the bathroom. When the ER doctor gave us symptoms, a flashing neon sign was pointing at him. He ate EVERYTHING. Literally, we would be done with dinner and he would ask, "You going to eat that?" Did you know that was a symptom? Mike and I chalked it up to growth spurt. And stomach ache. ALSO a symptom. Why aren't these symptoms posted? And leave it to our kid to have the not so common ones.

The doctor's kept asking his history. WHAT history? THE healthiest child I have EVER seen. And you're telling me he has a disease he can't give back? He's insulin dependent? How does this happen? "We don't know." How do you know he has Type I? "He's in ketoacidosis, which only occurs in Type I Diabetes." Does it come out of nowhere like this. "Yes." These questions I asked EVERY person who got in my face during those 3 days. And they all said the EXACT same thing. We don't know what caused Cameron's Type I Diabetes, and it is definitely NOT Type II. Yes it blindsides you, knocking the wind out of you until you are gasping for air, breathing like your child who is in ketoacidosis. And he will require insulin to keep him alive, until a cure is found.

SIX months, yet it feels like just yesterday. I still have crying outbursts, though NEVER in front of him. Grandma still cringes when he gives himself his shot. I look at him supplies and just ... become so overwhelmed. My perfect, intelligent, handsome son is sick. Insulin is keeping my son alive. When we get ready to leave the house, we have a backpack we pack with his diabetic supplies. Thankfully Mike packs it most of the time, because what I have hidden, until now, from everybody, is the pain it causes me to gather up and pack his life saving supplies into that bag.

What I am doing about it? I'm glad you asked. JDRF, Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, has a Walk to Cure Diabetes every year. This year it is on October 3rd in Ontario. October 3rd? It's May Tiffany. Well, guess what? Cameron has diabetes EVERY day. It is NEVER too early to get started. I start training this week. Could I walk it now? Sure, but I'd be hurting the next 3-5 days. It's all part of a different plan, which I will unveil shortly. TODAY I ask all of you to walk or sponsor someone walking. I don't care if it's Team Cameron (still unnamed and looking for suggestions) or someone YOU know personally. Walk the 5K (3.2 miles) or sponsor someone walking. If you can't do that, donate to JDRF, whose mission is to find a cure for diabetes!

Faith

On June 2, 2006 my faith was tested. I, more than anyone else, was shocked to realize just how much faith I had. My beautiful niece, a month before her 3rd birthday, was killed in a car accident. Technically, she isn't my niece, my cousin Sara and I are like sisters, my kids call her Auntie, and Mandelyn is, in all the ways that it mattered, my niece. Actually, I use to call her Cameron's practice sibling. I digress. Without explanation, I knew it was Mandelyn's time to go home. I was...okay, for lack of a better word, that she came, she saw, she conquered and I have often said I picture her getting a hi-five from Jesus when she returned. Maybe okay is the wrong word, peace, I was at peace with the situation.

I was, am not, at peace with what occurred 18 months later. For nothing more than the freakin' thrill of it, my amazingly gifted cousin, Cody, and his girlfriend, Bodhi, were murdered. The peace I felt with Mandelyn was nowhere to be found when Cody was murdered. I have days...wow, I have days I can't even describe. For if I describe my feelings, one would think I was on a fast track to hell. Or, as Angelique says, "Going to hell on a greased pole."

As if losing these 2 precious people weren't enough, a month later my uncle died unexpectedly. I remember the phone call, I remember my hysterical crying in my husband's arms, and I remember my emotions shutting down for a good 6 months after.

Over and over in my head the thought, God will not give you more than you can handle. Yet, a few months after my tears returned, my first born looses 11 pounds (15 total in just 12 days) in just a matter of days, his color drains, his breathing is labored and I thought, when the doctor asked if I was home alone, that he had cancer. Not that Type I Diabetes wasn't bad, but diabetes wasn't a death sentence. Let's not forget my diagnosis of Lupus (which I still am not completely on board with) and prediabetic just 2 weeks after Cameron's. God will not give me more than I can handle? Seriously? My faith was strong. My faith was a foundation I didn't realize was rock solid just 33 short months ago. Today...ah, today I look at the last 3 years and say, WTF?

I have failed the test. Miserably! I feel like Jesus on the cross, "Why have you forsaken me?" Harsh, yes, but true. My desire for church is gone. I open the bible to read, and I always find something else to fill my time. I'm on my knees, pleading with Him right now to find me again, to fill me with His love and to let me know all is right.

Our First Appointment

We could not have been more pleased with our first first endocrinologist appointment. We were there 1/2 an hour early, as instructed, to find parking and to fill out any necessary paperwork. Paperwork??? This was interesting to me, seeing as they had every ounce of information on him from his hospitalization. Anyhow, we check in, and the amount of people in the waiting room is staggering. We had been on the road, so to the bathroom we go. Cameron first, when his name is called. WHAT? We ask her to give us a minute and sat down, only to have her open the door and bring us back.

Cameron lost somewhere between 14-16 pounds when he got sick. He weighed in at 78 pounds in August. Today he is back up to 75.5. Woo-Hoo! I was so happy when I heard this. We were taken to our room, complete with couch. Did I mention these appointments, every 3-4 months, will take 1-3 hours??? The nurse takes his temp, the child has NEVER ran a fever in his ENTIRE life, and he was hospitalized with RSV when he was 6 months old, and checks his blood pressure. She has him prick his finger for a glucose test and tells him to squeeze an extra large drop out. She takes the extra for his A1C blood test. At this point he did the happy dance, realizing he doesn't have to give blood through a vein. LOL In his defense, his veins are still pretty tender from the IV's and everything they pumped into them. The nurse took his 2 meters, home and school, to download their numbers, plus our log book and was off.

No sooner did she leave the room did one of the specialists come in. I recognized her, by her voice, instantly! I have spoken to her every week since Cameron came home. Not even 5 minutes in did the nurse come back in with his A1C number. AMAZING! His number was 7.7, which is FANTASTIC, considering he was 13.5 not even 3 months ago. The ideal number is between 6 and 7, but Cameron is plugging along. We asked our questions and were told Cameron is doing GREAT, like we didn't know this! ;) She checks over his injection sites and fingertips.

Then the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae came...FLEXPEN! Oh yea! Oh yea! It's our birthday! Get our groove on. She brought out of the demo and asked Cameron to show us what he knew. Cameron has a buddy at school who uses the FlexPen, so I knew he had some knowledge. What I didn't know, and neither did the doctor, was that he KNEW exactly what he was doing. As we picked up our mouths from the floor, she said, "Okay Cameron, now let's see if your mom can do it." At this point I began to cry. My amazingly brilliant son, my roll with the punches boy...words can not describe how proud I am of him. I practiced with the pen on the dummy and we were given samples to take home and use TODAY! Double Woo-Hoo!

Finally, the doctor came in. I was still emotional and she asked if I was okay, handing me a tissue. I just explained how proud I am of him. She took checked his injection sites and fingertips. She gave his body a once over, told us what an excellent job we are doing, and she'll see us in 3-4 months! DONE and DONE!

The worst part of the day was in the parking lot when my purse fell into some crap! Purse down! Need to locate and buy a new one SOON! Other than that, Cameron has put weight back on, his A1C number was WAY better than I anticipated, and has graduated to the FlexPen, which has made our life a dream! All in all, I would say we have a MARVELOUS day.

My high may plummet very low on Monday when I begin fighting for authorization for Thursday's Carb Counting class. We'll see.