The Heart of New Directions

Where do I start? How do I begin? Do I just come out and say it? I can't even believe I'm going to type this. Cory Monteith, affectionately known to gleeks around the world as Finn Hudson, is dead. I won't presume to the have the answers. I don't care why he's gone. I just know that he is.

As I was winding down for the night, hitting up my Facebook, twitter and tumblr before bed, two things happened simultaneously. My twitter feed showed a single word post from Mark Salling, Puck, "no" and my favorite 2 tumblr's posted vague posts about Cory. I fired up my search and typed in Cory Monteith. I was unprepared as I clicked the link of the first story and proceeded to watch the police livestream reporting Cory's death. I sat in front of my laptop stunned. I had to watch it a second time because I was sure I heard it wrong. When the Chief said Cory's name again followed by the popular TV series glee I was full on bawling. I went back to Mark's twitter and his post had been taken down, but it left a lasting impression on my heart these last few hours. No. No Cory isn't dead. No Cory's family isn't reeling from the news of a son and a brother gone too soon. No the glee family isn't mourning the loss of their heart. No Lea's heart is not shattering right now.

My sincerest condolences to Cory's family. A bright light has been turned out tonight and please know that you are not mourning the loss of his light alone.

I see things very differently than most people. My heartache, my tears, the pit in my stomach is not just because of my love for all things glee. My already broken heart is splintering for a woman I've never met, but whose grief I know all too well. A woman is grieving the loss of her own Beloved and take it from me when I say, I'm all too familiar with the pain that beautiful girl is suffering at this moment. I have been praying, fervently, for Lea tonight. I've been asking God to surround her with love. I ask God to comfort her, but know that that prayer will not be answered tonight because she will not find comfort in knowing she will never kiss, never hug, never cuddle with her Beloved again.

The glee family has begun to tweet, and quite honestly I'm not prepared for Ryan Murphy, or Matthew Morrison, or Jane Lynch, or any of the Original New Directions (Chris Colfer, Amber Riley, Jenna Ushkowitz or Kevin McHale) words just yet. Mark's said it all. I'll never be prepared for Lea's tweet, ever. Where does glee go from here? I do not envy Ryan Murphy. I suppose they could cancel glee, but I doubt Cory would want that. The gleeks are going to want closure too. The cast was scheduled to begin shooting next week, July 22nd, but that timeframe will have to be pushed back. This close knit family has to be allowed time to grieve. Obviously there will need to be rewrites. Do they kill Finn too, off screen? Yes, they should, but even as I write this, I can't imagine putting Lea, Chris, Mike O'Malley or Romy Rosemont through that, let alone the rest of the cast and crew. Perhaps a time jump is in order. I believe the healing will begin from moving forward.

We were given hope when Finn, the cool, hot quarterback, joined the New Directions, making us fall head over heels in love with this group of freaks. I fell in love all over again with Finn when he took over the glee club in Mr. Shue's absence this last season. He had blossomed from the naive boy to a man before our very eyes. Finn was a true leader, the glue that held the New Directions together. There is something poetic in that Cory's first and last glee numbers were Don't Stop Believing. Many lost an idol today, and I'm truly envious of those who are blissfully asleep, unaware that the glee world has been rocked to it's very core.

You are singing and drumming for Jesus now Cory. Our loss is definitely heaven's gain. You are no longer in pain and we will attempt to find comfort in that knowledge. Watch over your family, dear one, as well as your extended glee family. Send Lea all the love and support you can, knowing God weeps with her tonight as she mourns the loss of you, her Beloved. Fly with the angels Cory. Although you have left us too soon, you will never be forgotten.

I've said it before, tell the people around you that you love them, hug them, express your feelings, because you never know when it is going to be too late. God Bless.