I set my DVR to record a special Oprah Winfrey last week and finally got around to watching it. The premise of the show was a 14 year old "couple" and their assertion that they were ready to have sex. Up until this point they had done pretty much everything but actual intercourse. UGH! I was skeptical at how Oprah and Dr. Laura Berman would handle this topic. I was not impressed when Dr. Berman voiced her opinion on masturbation, so I took a great, deep breath and pressed play.
As I sat there and watched the show unfold, I realized, "I WISH someone had sat me down and talked to me that way when I was that age." I had my first "real" boyfriend at 15 years old. We began having sex 6 weeks later, YES, at 15 years old. Although we dated throughout high school, and subsequently got engaged while he was in the Air Force, it did NOT last, and there I was ... a used up 19 year old girl. I say that now because after I began going to church and received Christ, I realized how badly I had damaged the body He gave me, and did not see it as the temple it was meant to be. I pose the question to myself, "What would you tell your 15 year old self about sex?" That's a whole other discussion! :)
These kids on the show were AMAZING! They acted their age, giggling, and answered the questions posed at them the way any KID would answer them. I was completely impressed with the questions Dr. Berman wanted them to answer, and thankfully, THANK-FUL-LY, the girlfriend was on the fast track of being persuaded NOT to further her relationship with the boy.
Dr. Berman posed two sets of questions, the first set were questions only you could answer about yourself, and they were:
What does this mean for who I am as a person?What does this mean for my body?What does this mean for my relationship with this person?What happens next?What fantastic questions to answer. A teen would really have to analyze key facets of their decision. If someone had asked me the first question, and I couldn't answer it, I'm not sure I would have been as willing, as young as I was. The answer to that question still affects me almost 20 years later.
The next round of questions were for the couple and included:
Why do you want to take it to the next level now?How long do the two of you plan to stay together?Are you prepared for the emotions you might feel afterward?Have you talked about condoms?Are you prepared with two forms of birth control?Have you talked about what happens if you get pregnant?Do you understand sexually transmitted diseases?Are both of you absolutely sure that neither one of you has been with anyone else sexually in any way?I would recommend any parent to keep an open mind and at least watch the episode and download Dr. Laura Berman's Sex Ed Handbook from Oprah Winfrey's site
here.
